Sab Theek Ho Jayega !

My photo
Kochi / Ernakulam, Kerala, India
A Doctor who loves to Live, Love and Laugh with the World! Absolutely crazy about Cricket ! Other Qualifications: A Tired Bathroom Singer, Retired Gully Cricketer and Satire Writer !

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Thought for Food !

Nothing in this world enthuses me as much as food. I have declared it on Facebook and elaborated it on Blogger before. But this post is all about the "Thought for Food" !

I am so obsessed with food that I often end up wishing people, "Food morning" or "Food afternoon" or "Food evening" or "Food night". This reached to ridiculous levels when I typed, "Hearty wishes for Food Friday and Feaster" on the Friday before the Easter ! Some of my Christian friends were so offended by this, they Unfriended me ! It was not entirely my fault. The keyboard has 'F' next to 'G' and when I am hungry, I can make mistakes like any human being. It just is that I am hungry most of the times !

I very well understand how hunger can turn people into Naxalites. Just half an hour delay in lunch break can turn me into a terrorist. My being born in a Community that adores, worships and ritualizes food definitely has some role in my love for food. My father is a man who believes, "Every morning, we should Rice and Shine" and I don't disagree with him.

It isn't as if I am a huge eater. I have on an occasion, eaten 25 idlees about 2 hours before dinner. And on another occasion, I had polished off 3 packets of Maggie noodles while reading Fimfare. These are old stories. I am a frugal eater today. I have a strict control now and seldom over-eat. I always stop when I can't stuff any more !

My week goes like this. Chocolate Sundae, Gulab Jamoon-day,  Orange Juice day, Breadness day, Thirst day, Fried Rice day and Saturate day ! What about my work place ? When a nurse reports about a patient having severe itching, I asked her to administer injection Avial [Avil]. Talking of Lactate solution reminds me of Milk Chocolate.

I am a law abiding person and I respect the courts. Well, I in fact adore the courts; Food Courts, especially. Though I am a complete and hopeless teetotaler, I love the bars too. They serve some of the best starters in the world. The fried cashew nuts, pea nut masala, paneer pakodas and many such delicacies make it worth going to a bar with your friends who prefer the bar over the court !

I believe in the old adage, "Seven days of not eating well makes one weak". Though I admire Gandhi for many of his virtues, I could never agree with the view that "We should eat to live and not live to eat". Blasphemy is the word ! We are born with the largest sack in the body that is stomach and the largest organ in the body that is liver. Stomach has to be filled and only then can the liver work and promote digestion. This scientifically proves my long held belief that "We are born to eat; at least I am" !

I am a Great fan of good food. So much so, the word Great itself inspires me on. But how ? Very simple, GR stands for my initial and rest is Eat ! So it keeps egging me on... GR EAT, GR EAT ! Now people should never blame me for my obsession with food and eating. I was destined for GR-EAT-NESS !

I once won a bet with a girl as to who was taller; me or she. She had promised 'Anything' if I won the bet and I asked her to buy me breakfast for the whole of next month. All boys who came to know of the story considered this a complete and total disgrace ! I just couldn't fathom why they felt so. I went on to relish extraordinary range of breakfast and super coffee from Hotel Hoysala, Bellary all at her expense for the next 30 days.

What am I supposed to do if I am reminded of "Pai Dosa" while watching "Life of Pi" and the movie "Fiza" sent me to Pizza Hut soon after the show ? The name "Sholay" makes me yearn for "Choley Bature" and whenever I see Vivek Mushran, I would love to savor "Mushroom Pepper and Salt". And just imagine watching a movie with title credits like THIS. Impossible !
Title credits of a movie !
Even though I have grown to abhor religions, I love temples for two reasons. First is for the architecture and the second of course for those exotic eatables offered there in the form of "Prasad". Some of the "Payasams" are more famous than the temples and the deities. I have never known anyone talking about the god of Ambalappuzha, but the Ambalappuzha Paalpayasam is a legend !

Tirupathi laddu is more famous than the temple itself. A large number of people including me, go there only for the sake of the laddu ! If the laddu is made available in counters at reasonable cost, I and many like me would leave the God to rest in peace !
Laddu over God !
Well, it is almost midnight now and my last grub was at 8:00 PM. If I have to "Live, Love and Laugh"; I have to catch up with something to eat. So, let me scoot and see what is there in the fridge. Thankfully Wife and Mom are fast asleep and I should be fine very soon !

Food night everyone !

Dr. Punned-it

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Rape and the Indian Culture : My Sacred Left Foot !

Ever since the Delhi rape took the national media by storm, we have had unending queue of people making an ass of themselves on the print and electronic media.

A Minister said, the girls shouldn't cross the Lakshman Rekha. If they do, they'll be kidnapped like Sita of Ramayan !

A self-proclaimed Bapu blamed the girl for the rape and prophesied that she would have saved herself if she had begged them for mercy and called them "Bhayya" or brother !

The RSS chief says a woman has to satisfy a man and keep him happy for her to receive appreciation or some nonsense like that !

As women all over the country protest and people ask for tougher punishments for the offenders, these people with verbal diarrhea keep defecating through their unholy mouths. And then our Prime Minister finally opens his mouth and says, "Theek Hai" or "It's OK" !

A couple of months ago, my 14 year old daughter was harassed and abused by some pranksters on the Facebook. She protested and I too joined issues. What was the reaction we got ?

A lady said, "You should not post photos on Facebook. You should not wear exposing dresses. You should not allow boys to be friends. There are so many security controls on Facebook. So on and on...". My daughter questioned, "What if people abuse via messages and how am I supposed to know who is good and who is not ?" She got a reply, "If you sleep with your room unlocked, people will rob you".

I joined issues saying, "Facebook is not a hotel room but an open road. If some abnormal men abuse a woman in public, isn't it our duty to stand up and question them and stop them ? Doesn't she have the right to protest ?". The reply I got was very enlightening. The lady said, "I thought you people have some sense and tried to help you. But now I know you have invited this. Serves you right !"

Another man asked, "Can a 14 year old GIRL have a Facebook account ?". Having entered modeling and cinema field, my daughter has been active on Facebook and has maintained a decent decorum and I keep strict vigil on her page to keep it clean. In spite of that, some delinquents come and create nuisance.

I stopped protesting but took the direct mode of action and called those people on the given phone numbers and gave a decent warning and cut them off. But there always is a risk, some of these people might harm my child in future. So I try to keep things simple and secret. What else can a father do ?

I had to elaborate so much only because we have a mentality where people start preaching to girls how to dress, how to behave, what to do and what not to do, where to sit and where not to go and finally how to breathe in public.

I find it to be a humongous insult to entire 'Mankind' when people say, "Women wearing sexy dresses instigate men to rape them". This actually labels as every man as an entity with a tendency to rape against instigation. A small stretch of feminine skin is enough to bring the rapist out of a man ! This is what it means. I am NOT ready to buy this. I can't be and I am NOT what these people are planning to brand me !

We do have a whole hogwash of western influence being reason for rapes and abuse of women. What an unadulterated blasphemy ! Let us just look at our 'Puranas'. Let's take the God business out of them and look at them as unchronicled 'History' or even fiction. What do we see there ?

Ram wins over Lanka and frees his wife Sita. Then he forces her to jump into fire [Agni Pareeksha] before accepting her as 'pure'. And then what does the duffer do ? He abandons her in the jungle when she is pregnant just because of a drunken idiot's nonsensical and inebriated brawl. This is how history has treated women in India !

A lecherous Indra seduces the unsuspecting Ahalya by disguising as her husband. What is the result ? The woman is cursed to end up as a stone till she is redeemed from the curse by the 'lotus feet' of a man who himself abandoned his wife later for no fault of hers. This is how history has treated women in India !

The Queen of Indraprastha with five husbands gets herself pawned in a game of dice because her idiotic husband can't quit the vice. Panchali is disrobed in the court of Hastinapur with all elders and wise-men being witness to the horrible act. An eye-wash opposition and then some vainglorious statements by her husbands is all that she gets. The woman is referred to as 'Commodity' by Duryodhan and that is not opposed by anyone in that court. This is how history has treated women in India !

Just consider the fact; this was the plight of women belonging to Royal families. Now imagine what would have been the life of common-woman ! "Yatra Naaryastu Poojante, Ramante Tatra Devata" - "The God's make an abode where women are adored" says some damn scripture and then they also say, "Na Stree Swaatantryamarhasi" - "The woman doesn't deserve freedom" !

With this kind of history, legacy, wisdom, knowledge, literature and religious righteousness, do we really need western influence ? Western societies are a lot more equal and nicer to woman today than India is. This is a fact. We boast of having had a woman Prime Minister, multiple women Chief Ministers, woman President and many women in high places since ages. But most of them were foisted upon the people thanks to legacy or by the power of money or muscle. Lalu - Rabri rule is the best example for the later.

Female infanticide, ill-treatment of girl children, a clear male child bias in a large segment of our populace are eating into the fabric of our society. Ever since she is born, a girl is chained to a million rules while her brother can go out and do any mischief. "You are a girl, remember that !" follows every single girl in this country. If her family treats her without a bias, the 'well-meaning' society is always there to show her where she belongs; the kitchen !

A lady in her late forties, once visited us and gave us a lecture on the need to have a 'Son' in front of our daughter. She went blah blah in front of the 10 year old girl cuddling in my lap, "I can see you people are unhappy because you have only a girl. You people are making a mistake by waiting. You must pray and do poojas to beget a son as soon as possible. This girl belongs to someone else. You must have a Son who is the 'Kula Deepak' [Light of Family]. What is this pampering a girl ? I will pray to God to give you people a cute boy soon".

I cut her off and said, "Auntie, THIS child sitting in my lap is the 'Kula Deepika' of my family. SHE is the one we always wanted and SHE is the only child we will ever have. If you insist on a boy, please go ahead and produce one for yourself. For all of my family, this child is our world and it is beautiful only because of her !"

The lady took it badly and has never talked to me after that. Not that I care ! But unfortunately, as long as 'women' continue to believe in this kind of nonsense and wish and pray for a boy-child, our society will continue to encourage rape !
Dress Code : Only for Girls !
Those who wear the so called bold dresses know how to carry them and how to protect themselves. The 'modestly' dressed, lower middle-class women with 'virtues and values' are the worst victims of crimes against women and not the high society women.

If wearing 'sexy' or bold costumes is what encourages rape, what about men ? Salman Khan hardly ever wears a shirt and there are so many studs showing off their naked bodies. How about women getting turned on by this blatant nudity ? Isn't that wrong too ?

And what about our temples insisting upon men to strip before entering the temples ? The matter of fact is most of male nudity is disgusting. As disgusting as what some women feel about Rakhi Sawant. But why no moral codes of conduct for men ?

All India needs is for the people to grow up. A boy who flirts around with many women is a 'stud' whereas a girl going out with men even as part of her job is a 'slut'. It is this mentality that has chained us. Dress code doesn't stop rapes. A code that treats man and woman as equal and prevents and forbids bias from childhood alone can prevent rapes.

I wind up this long but extremely passionate post with one of my Facebook updates, which came straight from the heart !

Capital Punishment for Rape ?

Not just right. A lot of our own Soldiers, Police personnel, Superiors in office and even Doctors will have to be hanged till death in that case.

Death by "Rope" is too small a punishment for "Rape", the most heinous crime ever; worse than murder !

We must have a law amended in such way that if proved, a Rapist must be punished with...

Dismemberment of the instrument used for rape along with castration and then he should be divested all jobs, degrees and privileges of life and left with just two options; Begging for mercy or death !

PS: This might sound a little anarchic and perhaps like a medieval law. But a sick act like rape can't be treated with kid-gloves ! Many of those dismembered beggars walking the footpath can be a very strong deterrent for future offenders !

Dr. Punned-it