Sab Theek Ho Jayega !

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Kochi / Ernakulam, Kerala, India
A Doctor who loves to Live, Love and Laugh with the World! Absolutely crazy about Cricket ! Other Qualifications: A Tired Bathroom Singer, Retired Gully Cricketer and Satire Writer !
Showing posts with label New Delhi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Delhi. Show all posts

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Rape and the Indian Culture : My Sacred Left Foot !

Ever since the Delhi rape took the national media by storm, we have had unending queue of people making an ass of themselves on the print and electronic media.

A Minister said, the girls shouldn't cross the Lakshman Rekha. If they do, they'll be kidnapped like Sita of Ramayan !

A self-proclaimed Bapu blamed the girl for the rape and prophesied that she would have saved herself if she had begged them for mercy and called them "Bhayya" or brother !

The RSS chief says a woman has to satisfy a man and keep him happy for her to receive appreciation or some nonsense like that !

As women all over the country protest and people ask for tougher punishments for the offenders, these people with verbal diarrhea keep defecating through their unholy mouths. And then our Prime Minister finally opens his mouth and says, "Theek Hai" or "It's OK" !

A couple of months ago, my 14 year old daughter was harassed and abused by some pranksters on the Facebook. She protested and I too joined issues. What was the reaction we got ?

A lady said, "You should not post photos on Facebook. You should not wear exposing dresses. You should not allow boys to be friends. There are so many security controls on Facebook. So on and on...". My daughter questioned, "What if people abuse via messages and how am I supposed to know who is good and who is not ?" She got a reply, "If you sleep with your room unlocked, people will rob you".

I joined issues saying, "Facebook is not a hotel room but an open road. If some abnormal men abuse a woman in public, isn't it our duty to stand up and question them and stop them ? Doesn't she have the right to protest ?". The reply I got was very enlightening. The lady said, "I thought you people have some sense and tried to help you. But now I know you have invited this. Serves you right !"

Another man asked, "Can a 14 year old GIRL have a Facebook account ?". Having entered modeling and cinema field, my daughter has been active on Facebook and has maintained a decent decorum and I keep strict vigil on her page to keep it clean. In spite of that, some delinquents come and create nuisance.

I stopped protesting but took the direct mode of action and called those people on the given phone numbers and gave a decent warning and cut them off. But there always is a risk, some of these people might harm my child in future. So I try to keep things simple and secret. What else can a father do ?

I had to elaborate so much only because we have a mentality where people start preaching to girls how to dress, how to behave, what to do and what not to do, where to sit and where not to go and finally how to breathe in public.

I find it to be a humongous insult to entire 'Mankind' when people say, "Women wearing sexy dresses instigate men to rape them". This actually labels as every man as an entity with a tendency to rape against instigation. A small stretch of feminine skin is enough to bring the rapist out of a man ! This is what it means. I am NOT ready to buy this. I can't be and I am NOT what these people are planning to brand me !

We do have a whole hogwash of western influence being reason for rapes and abuse of women. What an unadulterated blasphemy ! Let us just look at our 'Puranas'. Let's take the God business out of them and look at them as unchronicled 'History' or even fiction. What do we see there ?

Ram wins over Lanka and frees his wife Sita. Then he forces her to jump into fire [Agni Pareeksha] before accepting her as 'pure'. And then what does the duffer do ? He abandons her in the jungle when she is pregnant just because of a drunken idiot's nonsensical and inebriated brawl. This is how history has treated women in India !

A lecherous Indra seduces the unsuspecting Ahalya by disguising as her husband. What is the result ? The woman is cursed to end up as a stone till she is redeemed from the curse by the 'lotus feet' of a man who himself abandoned his wife later for no fault of hers. This is how history has treated women in India !

The Queen of Indraprastha with five husbands gets herself pawned in a game of dice because her idiotic husband can't quit the vice. Panchali is disrobed in the court of Hastinapur with all elders and wise-men being witness to the horrible act. An eye-wash opposition and then some vainglorious statements by her husbands is all that she gets. The woman is referred to as 'Commodity' by Duryodhan and that is not opposed by anyone in that court. This is how history has treated women in India !

Just consider the fact; this was the plight of women belonging to Royal families. Now imagine what would have been the life of common-woman ! "Yatra Naaryastu Poojante, Ramante Tatra Devata" - "The God's make an abode where women are adored" says some damn scripture and then they also say, "Na Stree Swaatantryamarhasi" - "The woman doesn't deserve freedom" !

With this kind of history, legacy, wisdom, knowledge, literature and religious righteousness, do we really need western influence ? Western societies are a lot more equal and nicer to woman today than India is. This is a fact. We boast of having had a woman Prime Minister, multiple women Chief Ministers, woman President and many women in high places since ages. But most of them were foisted upon the people thanks to legacy or by the power of money or muscle. Lalu - Rabri rule is the best example for the later.

Female infanticide, ill-treatment of girl children, a clear male child bias in a large segment of our populace are eating into the fabric of our society. Ever since she is born, a girl is chained to a million rules while her brother can go out and do any mischief. "You are a girl, remember that !" follows every single girl in this country. If her family treats her without a bias, the 'well-meaning' society is always there to show her where she belongs; the kitchen !

A lady in her late forties, once visited us and gave us a lecture on the need to have a 'Son' in front of our daughter. She went blah blah in front of the 10 year old girl cuddling in my lap, "I can see you people are unhappy because you have only a girl. You people are making a mistake by waiting. You must pray and do poojas to beget a son as soon as possible. This girl belongs to someone else. You must have a Son who is the 'Kula Deepak' [Light of Family]. What is this pampering a girl ? I will pray to God to give you people a cute boy soon".

I cut her off and said, "Auntie, THIS child sitting in my lap is the 'Kula Deepika' of my family. SHE is the one we always wanted and SHE is the only child we will ever have. If you insist on a boy, please go ahead and produce one for yourself. For all of my family, this child is our world and it is beautiful only because of her !"

The lady took it badly and has never talked to me after that. Not that I care ! But unfortunately, as long as 'women' continue to believe in this kind of nonsense and wish and pray for a boy-child, our society will continue to encourage rape !
Dress Code : Only for Girls !
Those who wear the so called bold dresses know how to carry them and how to protect themselves. The 'modestly' dressed, lower middle-class women with 'virtues and values' are the worst victims of crimes against women and not the high society women.

If wearing 'sexy' or bold costumes is what encourages rape, what about men ? Salman Khan hardly ever wears a shirt and there are so many studs showing off their naked bodies. How about women getting turned on by this blatant nudity ? Isn't that wrong too ?

And what about our temples insisting upon men to strip before entering the temples ? The matter of fact is most of male nudity is disgusting. As disgusting as what some women feel about Rakhi Sawant. But why no moral codes of conduct for men ?

All India needs is for the people to grow up. A boy who flirts around with many women is a 'stud' whereas a girl going out with men even as part of her job is a 'slut'. It is this mentality that has chained us. Dress code doesn't stop rapes. A code that treats man and woman as equal and prevents and forbids bias from childhood alone can prevent rapes.

I wind up this long but extremely passionate post with one of my Facebook updates, which came straight from the heart !

Capital Punishment for Rape ?

Not just right. A lot of our own Soldiers, Police personnel, Superiors in office and even Doctors will have to be hanged till death in that case.

Death by "Rope" is too small a punishment for "Rape", the most heinous crime ever; worse than murder !

We must have a law amended in such way that if proved, a Rapist must be punished with...

Dismemberment of the instrument used for rape along with castration and then he should be divested all jobs, degrees and privileges of life and left with just two options; Begging for mercy or death !

PS: This might sound a little anarchic and perhaps like a medieval law. But a sick act like rape can't be treated with kid-gloves ! Many of those dismembered beggars walking the footpath can be a very strong deterrent for future offenders !


Dr. Punned-it

Saturday, November 20, 2010

My Mission, My Passion, My Life !

Love is a beautiful, wonderful and enchanting feeling... 
Until it happens to your Daughter !

My Little Angel !
This is a smart quotable quote attributed to Shakespeare by some modern day smart Alec. But it is true, as true as true comes. Only problem is we don't realize this till it perhaps happens and comes to face us face to face.

Why should I think, talk and worry about it now ? Very simple, my little daughter is growing up. As much as I detest this fact, it is true. She will complete 12 years and will graduate into the teen group now.

We know this teenage is the most notorious age. I myself had fallen headlong in love with my English teacher as a 16 year old boy. People call this 'Infatuation'. But try explaining this to the smitten and you will know.

This excessive information era has left this generation of parents in a serious disadvantage. When we were kids, we thought our parents knew a lot. But our kids think their parents know nothing. Seriously they know a lot more than us. Try some of those indecipherable games on your mobile and you know what I mean.

Going back in time to 19 November 1998, I vividly remember the stress I went though when my wife was posted for an elective Cesarean Delivery the next morning. Ignorance for sure is bliss in these kind of situations. Knowing all those horrendous possibilities associated with child birth can make a Doctor waiting to be parent a 'Nut'; which I was on that day !

When finally the moment arrived and we received my own little bundle of energy at around 11:10 AM on 20 November 1998, my life had changed forever. I had become a Father, Dad, Appa or Appe as she prefers to call me. I keep telling all my clients and junior friends, how wonderful a feeling that was and will always be.

Samskruthy is the Name !
All those moments of her growing up are etched in memory. The first gurgle. The kicking. The smile. The crawl. First step. Her walks. Her banter. Cuddling up when she wanted to sleep longer. Every moment is precious. Since I didn't have a video camera, I could only capture her on my still camera. Those are but my most favorite snaps and will always remain so.

At the Qutub Minar - My Most Beautiful Shot to date

Some exceedingly endearing moments are worth living the whole life cherishing them all along. I am particularly fond of the tour to Kullu - Manali in 1999 November. Soon after her first birthday, we three went to Delhi, Kullu and Manali along with my sister, brother in law and my seven month old niece Prajna.

We were traveling by a Sumo Jeep from New Delhi to Manali. We had covered both the little girls with ample warn clothes. The big girls too were well protected. My brother in law, the master of the party was sitting in the front seat. Me, my wife and sister were sitting in the middle seat with the kids.

Till that day, I was only a play thing for my Baby. She came to me when she was awake and wanted to play, and be carried all over the place. But when she wanted to sleep, she went back to her mother and cuddle up to sleep on her laps. Of course with her favorite dish in mouth. Never once did she sleep on my lap.

With Her Mother
But on that memorable day, as she was playing with me through our journey; she started yawning. And even as I expected her to jump to her mother, she actually cuddled up to me, held me tighter and slept on my chest, warm and cozy.

On Her Favorite Seat
This was the most beautiful moment of my life since her birth. As I resisted my wife's attempts to take her away, I also realized an extraordinary truth. Mothering a child is one real achievement. After just about one hour, she woke up and jumped towards her Mom for her feed.

As I tried to free my hands, arms and shoulders I realized my thighs, hands and shoulders were sore and numb. If one hour of carrying a 12kg child can leave you sore, just imagine how all those mothers should be feeling !

This was a moment of accomplishment for me as well as a moment of truth; the irrefutable truth. There isn't an entity greater than Mother on earth. I salute all mothers of this planet; those who ever lived, those who still live and those who will be mothers some day.

Any woman if she feels she is treated any lesser than a man, she should know better. A Man can be a lot of things and more, but he can never be a Mother. And for me that pretty much sums up the gender equation. The only regret I have in life about my relationship with my daughter is I can never be her Mother. Hence I try my best to be as good a Father as possible.

There are but only two occasions I have had to be angry with her. One ended up me deciding never to hurt her again. The second time was on a day when I had to act tough because the situation demanded it. At least I believe so.

My Mom asked her to light the lamp in our Pooja Room on the day we arrived from our native place after an overnight journey. All of us were tired. When she said, she can't light a match stick, I told her it was time she learned to light one. She still didn't like to do it. I cajoled her and even showed her how to light a match stick and then to light an oil wick.

But she wasn't budging. This made me really angry. I told her, "You will light the lamp today come what may". She lit the match stick and promptly burnt her fingers by holding it in wrong position. She started yelling loudly and waited for her doting father to hug her and relieve her of the misery.

But I told sternly, "Look Child, some girls your age light lamps and kitchen hearths and even cook their own food. It will be an insult to all of us if an almost 12 year old girl refuses to learn simple things in life. So, go and wash your fingers in clod water, apply Silverex, come back and light the lamp. You and YOU alone will light it today. And I will have nothing less".

She was sobbing uncontrollably. Though it tugged at my heart, I had to tell her very firmly to stop sobbing and finish the job. She realized she had no escape. So she went ahead and finally lit the matches and the light. Once the work was accomplished, I took my child in my arms, hugged her and broke down because I was forced to be rude to her. I could have spoiled her that day by being lenient. But I love my child too much to spoil her thus.

This post is as much about mothers as it is about a daughter. I would like my child to grow up to be responsible and worthy citizen of this country and the world. The next morning, she came and gave me a hug and a peck and said, "Appe, I lit the lamp today with just one match-stick. I have learned now".

So I told her, "Life is all about learning. We have to keep trying to improve ourselves. Your marks in school don't make you, your effort is what makes you. We don't love those prizes you win, we love YOU. I am not bothered if you don't win a prize or end up getting lesser marks in exams. These things don't make you any lesser for us. I am never bothered by prizes and awards, but it will hurt me if my child doesn't 'TRY'. You keep learning, working and improving. Give your best to everything you do; be it at school, on stage or in music or even a simple thing like lighting a lamp. Nothing will scare you if you know you are doing your best".

She Learned to Swim in 2 days, because she wanted to !

My child will be a mother some day and hopefully she will remember this lesson we both learned that day. I repented being rude to her and kept telling my wife, "I hope I will never have to be angry with her again". I really hope so. I still am not reconciled to the fact that she will be a big girl sooner than later and then will find a man for herself and will have to move on in life.

Watching 'Bidai' scenes in Bollywood movies makes me edgy. Tamil movie 'Abhiyum Naanum' made me emotional. Any mention of her growing up and her marriage makes me jittery. Not because I see that as a responsibility or a burden. But because I don't know how I will cope up with that. People advise me not to be so attached and possessive.

For what is a Daughter born if not to love and be loved ? So I tell people, "All those things you people tell may be inevitable. But as of now, she is my little Darling Angel and let me enjoy her being my child. We will deal with her marriage when we reach there. Now leave us alone to enjoy being Father and Daughter"

As my little Angel takes her first steps into teenage, let me wish her many more wonderful birthdays and all the love, affection, health, success and happiness in life. My life was pretty good before you came, but you have made it complete and meaningful for your Mom and me and all of us.

We love you and cherish you !

My Life, My Mission, My Passion !



20 November 2010
12 Years since the Beautiful Journey began !


Dr. Pun-dit