Sab Theek Ho Jayega !

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Kochi / Ernakulam, Kerala, India
A Doctor who loves to Live, Love and Laugh with the World! Absolutely crazy about Cricket ! Other Qualifications: A Tired Bathroom Singer, Retired Gully Cricketer and Satire Writer !

Monday, February 21, 2011

Dial 'S' For Suicide : A Thread on Life !

One of my favorite quotable quotes is, "Life is hard, compared to what ?" !
There was a pretty good discussion on Facebook recently initiated by a friend. It started with the suicide of a man. People had many things to say about suicide and I too had my views.

This thread inspired me to think about what I actually thought deep down about suicide. And I remembered this "Immortal Song" by Kishore Kumar from the movie Armaan [1981].

The thread went like this...
A few days back, the dad of one of my son's classmates committed suicide. He leaves behind the mother, son, and daughter. The papers are rife with the brutal rape of a 24-year old girl who succumbed to injuries. The chai-wala at our office doesn't bring snacks for the second day in a row and i find from him that the snack provider committed suicide. Sigh. Why are there so many unhappy people around?!
February 8 at 10:29am ·
Shery Ph, Neela Shyam and 2 others like this.

    • Manju Thomas Men who refuses to grow up and take responsibility or may be just plain depressed with no friends ?
      February 8 at 10:32am ·

    • Deepa Antony yeah.. and i wish i could help them who needed help and bring to book those who needed that!!! arrr!!!
      February 8 at 10:38am · · 1 person...

    • Praveen Vet Let's not blame the suicide victim. The state which consists of all of us has a bigger role in their suicides. If it can be 'Men who refuses to grow up' it could also be 'state which refuses to grow up' or 'women who refuses to grow up'
      February 8 at 10:42am · · 1 person...

    • Deepa Antony the person to blame here is only the person who commits a crime. a suicide victim is not a criminal for doing so. wish there were ways to help them in time...
      February 8 at 10:43am · · 3 people...

    • Govind Raj Those with no friends should join Facebook !
      February 8 at 10:45am · · 2 people...

    • Deepa Antony ‎:))
      February 8 at 10:46am ·

    • Manju Thomas ‎:-) @ Govind
      February 8 at 11:08am · · 1 person...

    • Babu Jacob wow cuz!..appreciate that..from a happy-go-lucky girl, a sudden twist to harsh realities..way to go!..:))
      February 8 at 11:17am · · 1 person...

    • Deepa Antony ‎*thats life i guess cuz.. not always a bed of roses.... :)
      February 8 at 11:26am ·

    • Babu Jacob
      and why there are so many unhappy people around?..everyone is not as lucky as we are who can be at fb writing funny things..realities!!..when even onion prices soar, when plans go wrong making one bankrupt, for some people day to day life b...ecomes a wall, not our fb wall, but a wall where these people stumble and fall and never get up..
      count our blessings..

      February 8 at 11:37am · · 3 people...

    • Manju Thomas ‎( counting my blessings 1,2,3,4,5,6,7....,.)
      February 8 at 11:42am · · 1 person...

    • Deepa Antony ‎@Jake: well said cuz... wish it was a fair world...
      February 8 at 11:44am ·

    • Deepa Antony ‎*Manju: mmmm.. keep going..
      February 8 at 11:44am ·

    • Govind Raj
      I would like to share a story here. Some day I would love to blog about it.
      In 1995, I met a remarkable lady one Ms. Vijaya. She was about 48 years old. She was suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis. The treatment modalities had not evolved in... those days. We used to give her symptomatic medicines and whatever best was available in those days.
      Her illness had progressed so much in those days, she could hardly move her finger tip. All her small joints had fused. Later parts of her life she could not even get up.
      But even during extreme distress during her last days she had one character and that summed up for me the essence of life...

      February 8 at 11:45am ·

    • Deepa Antony Raj: you mean to say she never complained?
      February 8 at 11:52am ·

    • Manju Thomas Finding the good around and focusing on it :-)
      February 8 at 11:53am ·

    • Govind Raj
      Every single morning during our rounds, I used to ask her, "So how are you?" It was a stupid question, but I had to ask her. And every day she used to reply, "I am feeling slightly better" with one of the most unforgettable smiles ever.
      The ...whole thing is in the mind !
      Pain, suffering, problems and worries are but part of a life. Anyone not facing problems isn't living. Agreed we haven't witnessed extreme suffering, sorrow or torture. But we have seen people who have outlived all these and more with conviction !
      I would not sympathize with anyone committing suicide. There is no difference in murder and suicide. In both cases, you are ending a life. A LIFE... that we did not create ourselves. We have no right to kill anyone... Suicide is Murder in another name !

      February 8 at 11:54am · · 3 people...

    • Deepa Antony ‎*Raj: As much as i agree that finally it is all in the mind, I beg to disagree with your view that suicide is a crime. I believe that a person who commits suicide is a *sick* person. a person who's not normal. whose thinking is compromised in some way and which could be a consequence of things beyond his/her 'own' doing. I believe such people need help. But the sad fact is it is always too late.
      February 8 at 12:01pm · · 3 people...

    • Govind Raj A person who commits murder too is *SICK* ! It is problems of the mind that lead to all acts of violence !
      February 8 at 12:05pm · · 1 person...

    • Deepa Antony ‎*for moderation purposes, i think i'll stop with : 'to each his own'
      February 8 at 12:14pm ·

    • Neela Shyam most of the cases i feel it is a momentary the time they realise it its too late....sad but true....
      February 8 at 12:42pm · · 3 people...

    • Govind Raj Raj: you mean to say she never complained?

      D' Yes... Never even saw her without a smile :-)

      February 8 at 1:40pm · · 2 people...

    • Deepa Antony ‎*wow..thats herculean...
      February 8 at 2:30pm · · 1 person..

    • Shery Ph well....who knows wat was going on in da mind of ppl who committed suicide....we can debate o'er it....well....
      February 8 at 5:24pm ·

    • Neela Shyam
      yup...a few days back...a 36year old man (who happened to be a joint director of a very reputed firm) staying close by committed suicide as he found out about his wife's extramarital affair....sad that such a successful man couldnt take the... trauma....the so called wife is no where to be seen..the children are in a state of shock and are being looked after by his brother...sometimes i wunder if he could have reconsidered his decision thinking of his poor little children...the kids are now abroad ...but how can they ever get over the trauma...

      February 8 at 5:34pm ·

    • Praveen Vet
      ‎@Govind Raj: liked your story. I agree that suicide is murder and thus somebody should be strongly punished for it. The question is who is committing this murder? If a person is tortured by third degree methods and given a cyanide pill, h...e would most probably consume pill to avoid an even more painful and slower death that is for sure. Here the state should be punished because it is the murderer. For many victims of suicide, life is an invisible prison with invisible torturers. I propose a mechanism to punish the state. For every suicide (except that permitted by state and accidents), the state (people alive) should spend 12man-years (4380 man-days) in prison before they reach 70 years of age. Thus in a 70 year life of a man, there would have been approximately 3.8 million suicides (at 50,000 suicides per year in India) amounting to 15 billion man-days in prison. Thus a person should go to prison for 15 days before he is 70 (15billion/1billion Indians). I'm ready for 15 days.

      February 8 at 5:36pm · · 1 person...

    • Umesh Babu Interesting list of causes of suicide here... weak, immature men; criminal act; not coping with unhappiness; state of mind and even the State (!)...GOK
      February 8 at 6:11pm · · 1 person...

    • Deepa Antony ‎@Prav: oh boy! all that math has got my head reeling!! :)))
      @Umesh: GOK.. i like that :))

      February 8 at 11:48pm ·

It is true that suicide might often be forced or almost homicide in absentia. But somehow, I am not convinced about physical or mental torture, penury, poverty, disappointment and loveless life being directly responsible.

We do see so many people on the roads, begging for survival and they do thrive. If poverty or penury are strong enough reasons to commit suicide, there would be no beggars and street urchins. If loss of love is a good reason to commit suicide, half the world would have to die for the other half and the other half for the already departed.

Suicide finally is murder and nothing but Murder. We aren't born according to our wish. Without going into the Divine, we still did not create our own life and we have no right to cut short something we didn't create. It is ultimately 'Violence'. Civilized society has no role for violence, against others as well as against self !

Extreme cases do exist and I can't wish that away or deny that. Terminal illness, extreme pains, loss of children and so many really unfortunate issues. But all these cases don't lead to suicide. Most of the cases of suicides are due to transient loss of reason, pent up rage or madness. It never is easy to understand what goes on at that moment. But it is a 'Sickness of the Mind' for sure.

A healthy society or state or country will have to look inwards to ameliorate the causes that could trigger suicides. Illnesses, misfortune, loss, death and devastation are but a part of life. I am not sure how I would react to extreme situations. But would love to retain my equanimity in such a scenario if so happens.

Even when someone extremely dear is no more, life has to go on and will go on. Death is the final frontier and nobody ever has outlived it. So why should anyone make its job easier ? Be prepared to Live, Love and Laugh, because Life still is beautiful. Very beautiful even with bad roads, Scams, Politicians and Sreesanth !

And for all those who think they have been handicapped by life... Watch This !!!

Dr. Pun-dit

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

An Idea called India: A Rhyme with a Reason !

Here are some random thoughts on India; My Country, My Passion and My Mission !

Some effort has gone into rhyming the thought process. But the thought itself is spontaneous.

Though I may sound bitter and negative, I compile these thoughts with a positive outlook.

Looking forward to a better, brighter and bomb-free and scam-free tomorrow !

General Public aka Aam Aadmi

The North, South, East and the West,
We would like to claim we're the Best.
A Cricket victory and a pumping fist,
Pride puffing up our expanding chest.

Unity in Diversity

In the wake of every known adversity,
Harping on about the Unity in Diversity.
Guns and goons culture rules University,
We take it all with extreme insensitivity.

The Poorest of the Poor

Millions live below the line of poverty,
And a few own all cash and property.
Problem is with people of the Country,
Expect little work and alms in bounty.

The Middle Class

Prices sore and all that tastes is sour,
But middle class yells for gimme more.
Ethics and loyalty belong to the yore,
Until the Bosses show them the door.

The Business Class

Consumer is King is what they all say,
Buy something, that makes their day.
Efforts from thence is to keep at bay,
The buyer and while it shines make hay.

The Political Class

Service is the motto but towards oneself,
Cattle class that we are always need help.
Aam Aadmi gloats on Scam Aadmi's pelf,
Heaps of files catching dust in CBI's shelf.

The Leader

One worth his salt wants to be a mass Leader,
During accent uses the masses as the Ladder.
Selling nation for spectrum, cannon and fodder,
How do they manage, you and I've to wonder.

The Parties and Ideologies

The Right is wrong and the Left isn't Right,
All that matters here is Power and Might.
Corruption, loot and skulduggery to fight,
Mirage of the nonexistent Shining Light ?

Our Man

It seems Obama loves our learned Man,
Where Madam is supreme, what he can ?
From Finance he jumped into frying pan,
In his own party, he remains a No-man.

Expectations and Issues

Aam Aadmi needs Bijli, Sadak and Paani,
How to fool them needs knack uncanny.
British left us but not the Babu and crony,
To divide and Rule in a state of the nanny.

The Holy Cow

Everyone has reservations on reservation,
Reasons fearing ballot box reverberation.
Who wants merit when all consideration,
Surround the caste and religious equation.

Neighborhood Trouble

The Dragon above way ahead on all counts,
Pakistan needles and defense budget mounts.
Bengal Tiger scratches, Lankan Lion taunts,
Tiny little Nepal taking big brother for grants.

Foreign Dreams

Software and service dreams in US of A,
Jumping borders for the peanuts they pay.
Man-power without any international say,
Worth shouting Bolo Bharat Mata ki jai !

Worship is Work

Propitiate Gods; fake and the imaginary,
For Pundits, Imams and the Missionary.
Blessings to clear a block in the Coronary,
Worship is work without a true Visionary.

What do we do ?

Problems galore from head down to toe,
Hard work does work we ought to know.
Build a nation united we can and we'd show,
Need to stand up, deliver and take a bow !

An Idea called India

Caste, religion and region let not divide us,
Development and prosperity matter not fuss.
Opportunity waits and let's not miss the bus,
India alone matters and let's work in chorus !

Dr. Pun-dit

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Rules are Rules: Chronology of a Marriage Certificate!

Warning: This is the longest post I have ever written. This had to be, because it deals with 'The Government'. Anything Government in India has to be long drawn, tedious and frustrating experience. You walk the straight path, the Government machinery will ensure it will be the longest possible route.

Welcome to India where Government is there not to help people and solve their problems. A Humongous Government apparatus is in place only to harass and  make things difficult for the ordinary citizen. But if you are a Bangladesh or Pakistan sponsored terror merchant, then we will make things very easy for you !

Part One : History and Her Story

1970 July 25: He was born in a sleepy town in south Karnataka at the base of Western Ghats.

1975 August 13: She was born in a general hospital in Kochi two months premature and spent the next two months in the incubator.

1997 June 9: They met for the first time in Kochi.

1997 June 27: They were engaged to marry soon.

1997 July 25: They went to watch 'Border' together, because she was a fan of Sunil Shetty. [The additional 'e' in his name came later].

1997 August 13: They crossed the border to watch 'Pardes' because he grew up on Subhash Ghai movies.

1997 September 3: They got married. End of Part One.

Part Two : Home Sweet Home

2000 August: They set up home in a rented house in suburbs of Kochi.

2003 August 22: They finally moved to their own home. Sweet Home !

A dozen years after they were married with an 11 years old daughter, they realized they had to have a marriage certificate. And thus began the story. The story of a Marriage Certificate !

Part Three : Concept of a Marriage Certificate

He had migrated from Karnataka and had a lot of problems getting a Voter Identity card and then a ration card. With his legendary laziness and very little patience for Government, he was governed by her perseverance. Nature always has a way to balance things. And then people !

It was told a Marriage Certificate [MC henceforth] is absolutely necessary to manage joint accounts, succession and insurance issues. It is also necessary to acquire many more documents, passports and sundries.

So an application was moved for the holy MC in August 2010. The Corporation Office demanded a huge pile of certificates to issue another certificate that will be necessary to apply for more certificates in future.

2010 September 15: Her father passed away, derailing the process of Mission MC for some time.

Part Four : The Documents for Documents

2011 January 3: The Mission was back on track. The need was very simple. The CO [Corporation Office] demanded 'some' documents as listed below.

01] The Marriage Photo
02] The Original Invitation Card
03] A Certificate from the Marriage Hall
04] A Certificate from a Councilor / MLA / MP
05] A Certificate from his Employer
06] A Copy of his Class 10 Certificate
07] A Copy of her Class 10 Certificate
08] A Copy of his Medical Registration Certificate.
09] A Copy of his Voter ID Card
10] A Copy of her Voter ID Card
11] Two Witnesses who are not blood relatives.
12] Four latest pass-port size photos of both
13] Most Important: You have to get ALL the duplicate documents attested by a Gazetted Officer.

Does the number 13 appear sinister ? This is not superstitious. But the process sure was Sinister in a Left dominated state.

Acquiring all these took some time; it always does in this country. It was told, all these documents should be produced in 'Duplicate' with the application form duly filled in Duplicate again.

Part Five : The 'D' Day or Document Day !

2011 February 2: And finally the 'D' Day was here.

"You have to come there to the Corporation Office once I am finished with initial work" said she "And you please show some patience and don't get into fights". He promised to try his best to stay sane.

10:45 AM: "I am at the office. People still waiting here" came her SMS. OK, he replied. Thanks to the Data services on Mobile phones, life is a lot easier.

11:15 AM: "You have to sign some more papers. Where can we meet ?" Text again. He replied, "Will meet you near Music World on way to IOC"

12:05 PM: "She told me, we have to present 3 application forms" said the harassed wife, "Not 2 as was told earlier". He asked her, "Didn't you ask how come the sudden change in rules ?". Wife is more prudent always, "See the need is ours and not theirs". He completed the forms and signed all forms before re-checking all documents again.

12:20 PM: He drove to IOC and came back by 1:30 PM.

1:30 PM: Finally he reached the Office near Marine Drive, Kochi.

Part Six : The Story In Between

12:30 PM: "You have to get copies of the Voter ID Cards of witnesses and get them attested" said the helpful Clerk. The witness himself asked, "But we are here, so what is the need to attest ?" The lady replied, "That is not my problem, Rules are Rules"

12:45 PM: They went to the Gazetted Officer known to them and got the required documents attested. He was a nice chap and didn't charge any money. May be Ms. Saving Grace had seen some Saving Grace.

1:00 PM: The witnesses left because they had no further role. Or thus they thought.

1:10 PM: Clerk: But you have to get three copies attested and not two. Three applications, so 3 copies.

1:20 PM: Gazetted Officer: What a tedious procedure ! Daughter, you must be hungry. Did you eat something ?

Thanks goodness, the country still has "A Few Good Men"

1:30 PM: He finally joined her at "The Office".

Part Seven : The End Game

1:35 PM:
Clerk: You have not attested the Invitation Card Copy and also the Councilor's letter.
He: But you are seeing the original, so what is the problem ? You too are authorized to attest. Why should we run around for all of this ? Why can't you write it because all the documents are there in front of you. ?
Clerk: That is not my job. You have to get it done. Rules are Rules.
He: Madam, can you tell us what all things we have to get attested ? My wife has been running around since morning. So if you can tell us what other things are lacking all at once, we'd be grateful. We will get everything according to 'Rules are Rules'. And if necessary, we will get 3 copies each of me and my wife and get them attested too.
Clerk: Tell your husband to control his language. We are here to 'Serve' you. We do things according to rules.

1:50 PM: Gazetted Officer: Wow Daughter, you are back as I had guessed. So this is your husband. I have known your wonderful father for several years but meeting your husband for the first time. How is he coping with this ? I believe this Doctor doesn't like to wait.
Reputations live past some great men and precede some ordinary people.

2:00 PM: The last bit of document attested. The gentleman left for lunch, but not before advising the couple to "Eat something, you people look hungry and tired"

2:10 PM: The Clerk has gone for lunch, said the office boy. He said, "Okay, let us go grab some lunch. Aren't you hungry ?". She refused, "No, we will wait. You don't know when they come and then go again. I want to see the end of this today". Perseverance wins over laziness.

2:45 PM: Clerk: You people are late by several months. So you have to produce an apology letter. That has to be drafted in Malayalam. Phew...

2:50: PM: "Oho, almost 14 years since marriage, what were you people doing all these years ?" asked the cheerful gentleman drafting their apology. "Collecting all the certificates needed to obtain this certificate and then getting them attested. It took us so long only because of that" was his reply. The friendly man never uttered a word after that.

3:10 PM:
Clerk: "Now everything is in order. But errr wait, where is the third copy of Invitation card ? I want it attested too".
He: "We are married for almost 14 years and we don't need this card any more. All those who had to be invited have been invited. So do you mind keeping this original ? We have been told the 'ORIGINAL' doesn't need attestation.".
Looking at the apparent smoke emanating from his nose and ears and even eyes, the Clerk agreed and said, "Okay, Okay. That will be fine. But if you need the original, you can't get this one back".
He: We have another dozen at home. Don't bother !

3:20 PM: Final touches over. Signatures verified. And the procedure is over.
Clerk: Right. It is over. Since your marriage was quite old, it will take one month to get the certificate. You will get intimation by post and then you can collect it.
He: Thanks for all the help ! Now do we have to get 'attested copies' of this receipt you have issued ?
Clerk: As you wish. Now you can get yourself attested if you desire so !

You can never win against the Government !

Dr. Pun-dit