Welcome to Kochi, the self proclaimed "Queen of Arabian Sea" the financial capital of Kerala, the self-proclaimed "God's own Country".
My friends always blame me for being too harsh, too critical and too satirical in my posts. Hence I have decided to mend my ways and have come out with solutions to the problems. This is my mite to my adopted land. Hope at least some of our rulers find time to read this.
|Our Footpaths !|
Solution: Let the Cable guys put up advertisements and hoardings on footpaths. The Corporation can gain some revenue.
|A Jam nobody likes !|
Solution: Send all these three wheeler drivers to the Pakistan and Bangladesh border. We can use them to combat the insurgency.
|A world infested by two-wheelers|
Solution: Send the talented two wheeler-riders to Olympics. They might win us medals in Gymnastics.
|Potholes - Take deviation|
Solution: A new innovation: Pothole Tourism ! No other town can boast of this facility. We can take tourists around for different parts of the town. Fishing, boating and even swimming too can be arranged for enthusiasts. We excel in converting liabilities into assets.
|What Potholes ? There is no road !|
Solution: Relax, there is a further advancement. We can always invite Archeological Society of India. They need to dig very little for excavation. Even better, we might even stumble upon some 'Oil Wells'. Who knows, Malayalee's favorite 'Gulf' might be recreated in God's Own Country !
|Does it stink ? Take deep breath...|
Solution: Open 'Open Air' Pranayaama classes all over. People can learn breath holding and deep breathing techniques on the road. It improves endurance, health and longevity. All credit should go to our rulers.
|Road Rags !|
Solution: Another great business opportunity. Bring in Tyre companies to sponsor different stretches of the road. They can coin slogans like, "Only FRM Tyres survive these roads" or "When the going gets Rough, the Tough get going" etc. The revenue thus earned can be used to hike the allowances of our poor underpaid and underprivileged rulers !
Hope I have not been critical, satirical or too harsh this time. I love India, I love Kerala and I love Kochi. After all Kochi has given me a life and a wife !