I looked back at my posts on my blog so far. What I saw actually embarassed me. I was basically complaining. Complaining about anything and everything. About people, situations, habits, likes and dislikes. So today I thought, I will not complain for once!
Why do I complain? Rather why do we complain? I think it is a human tendency to take others for granted and believe that "I" am always right. I too have been a victim of this "I" syndrome. People try to change the world rather than try to change self, which in fact is a lot easier. So should we always change self? I don't want to sit on judgement on this issue as of now.
Why do I write a blog? I enjoy writing and don't really bother if nobody ever reads it. But I will be happy if friends read me and air their views and correct me where it is necessary. I have always appreciated honest criticism from friends. Only good friends do that. Good suggestions too are like tonic to a thinking mind. My dear friend Murali did just that the other day. And I am learning to shorten my sentences!
I am surprised by what I write. What I write is totally contrary to my actual personality and nature. Those who know me, will understand this. I am a very happy-go-lucky character who rarely takes anything seriously. At least on the surface, I am pretty calm and prefer to laugh a lot. My Orkut profile reads thus, "A Doctor who loves to live, love and laugh; Because laughter is the best medicine!" Though I do have problems with temper, I can never be too serious for too long. That is what I thought until recently!
I lost my Uncle recently. He fought with long time Diabetes, Heart disease and Kidney failure and age related illnesses. He was a great fighter and was a fabulous human being. I will need a seperate post to write about him. But let me say this for now. He was my "Mentor, Godfather and the most influencial person in my life".
On that fateful day, when his son came out of the ICCU crying "Govindu, he is gone", for a moment it was like I was not there at all. I was not able to react. Then people started pouring in. Many were coming and telling me things and many were asking for things. Nothing registered on my mind and to this day, I don't remember much of what happened on 24 February 2009. But later when I was alone, I realized what had happened. I went to my room in my hospital and took some tea and breakfast and then broke down like a child. After that on several occasions I have lost my ability to control my tears. I was in a state of mourning that I have never experienced before. But as the saying goes, time is a great healer!
I have loved him, disagreed with him and many a times felt bad when he scolded me. But during all times, I have realized the strength of this man and the affection he had for me and many like me. I have no hesitation in saying this: I miss him and will miss him all life. But I am not complaining. To whom can I complain? And I know he will never come back.
So I conclude this post with the saying: Live, love and Laugh a lot. Enjoy your life. There is plenty of time to be dead! Live as though it were your last day on earth, you will be right some day!