Montek's monument: Shit happens !

A lot of shit has been washed down the flush since the controversy about the Rs. 35 lakhs toilet erupted. I thought it's better late than never to make my humble contribution to the load of shit-talk going on.

So what would be the reaction of different people once they see this 'monumental' toilets ?

Pratibha Patil: Oh shit, how could I have missed this place ? Immediately arrange a visit before the Presidential elections.

Manmohan Singh: Finally a place where I can shit in peace without worrying about all the shit that is going on around me.

Mamta Banerjee: This is shit neglect of Bengal. Either roll back the toilet of construct one Kolkotta.

Rahul Gandhi: This proves my theory of two Indias. There are millions who don't have decent toilets to shit and then we have such toilets but people who just can't shit.

The 'Other' India !

Digvijay Singh: This is a Sangh Parivar conspiracy to smear shit on the Congress and Gandhi-Nehru family. We will not allow them to succeed.

Kapil Sibal: Shit or no shit, we can prove that it is not a national waste but just a notional waste !

M. S. Dhoni: Well of course, there was no decent toilet facility in Siachen Glacier. We have to keep our calm and remember you can't win always. Shit happens, oops it happens. The final result is not in our hands, but we have to keep performing.

Sachin Tendulkar: Aila, I just said no for a bungalow. If I knew making shit was so expensive in Delhi, I would have said no to the Rajya Sabha seat also.

Virendra Sehwag: I will play my natural game. The kind of toilet doesn't change my approach to shit. If there is width, I will attack. There is no question of changing my approach.

Narendra Modi: It is a clear cut Italian conspiracy. They have used Italian tiles, Italian marbles and Italian granite and even Italian Engineers to please their Madam. They can even import Italian shit now.

Yeddiyurappa:  People of Karnataka want me back in my shit, I mean my seat. Otherwise people will bring down this illegal government with the help of illegal Kings of mine.

Baba Ramdev: I have a strong doubt, they have constructed this place not to make shit, but to hide the black money. Otherwise why are they planning to restrict visitors with card entry ?

Anna Hazare: With the money they have wasted, they could have passed the Jan Lokpal bill. Instead, they have made arrangement to pass motion. I prefer to fast till death than shit in those toilets !

Aamir Khan: Shit happens, but in the end, "Satyameva Jayate" will be a big hit !

Shah Rukh Khan: My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist. Then why this card for entry to a place where we go to shit ? Trust me, in Kolkotta, you can do it anywhere !

Salman Khan: Critics call my movies shit. This toilet cost just 35 lakhs. Sanjay Leela Bhansali's sets cost much more than that. And my movies make more than 100 Crores. Mujh par ek ehsaan kar ke mujh par koi ehsaan mat kar. I don't need anyone else' toilets. I will pass my own shit.

N. S. Sidhu: They have constructed such a monument for that purpose my friend, because the planning commission is full of big big ideas that in reality amount to just a whole load of monumental shit !

And finally...


Montek Singh Ahluwalia: Oye, shit ! I forgot my card. Now what will I do ? It is urgent... eeeeee !!!

Dr. Punned-it

Small things that make a BIG difference !

Aamir Khan's "Satyameva Jayate" has evoked sharp reactions from people. People are talking about social evils. Female infanticide has become a topic of heated debate on Facebook and other social media. Some admire Aamir for his concern and some say, he is doing all this for money. I don't know the truth.

I was too 'small' to understand why my late Grandfather insisted upon putting off the oil wick in our pooja room every night. Later as a grown up, I realized it was not miserly behavior but just a precaution by an extremely wise man who cared for his home and family. We had a lot of rats in our large ancestral home and they could have easily put the house on fire at night if we were to leave the wick burning.

When in high-school, we had a lesson, "A spark neglected, burns the house". A small misunderstanding between two friends Ivan and Gabriel ends up ruining both the families before they could realize what had happened. This story actually helped me to understand the great old man better !

Four decades later, I look at people around me and often get frustrated by the absolute lack of care for public property, water, electricity and such things and most importantly the time. Every walk of like, we overlook the small things that will finally make a big difference. But we seldom realize them, give importance to them or do something to change them.

Leaking Pipes: Every place I have visited has a leaking pipe or a pipe that has been left open by someone who just doesn't care. We just don't care, do we ? Thousands of liters of purified chlorinated water is lost every day. We see a lot of places in our country thirsting for water and we see absolute lack of remorse while wasting water.

Every drop of water we are wasting is taking us one step towards a universal drought some day ! Can't we see this and understand this ? Can't we take the small step to change this to avert a disaster ?

Electricity:  Most of us rarely forget to switch off lights, fans and air-conditioners in our own homes. But we seldom care when we are at office or in public places. When it is in the office or a public place, nobody bothers to switch off a light or a fan when not in use. It isn't our property and hence not our duty or not our bother is the attitude. But is it true ?

WE are footing the 'Bill' for all this wastage. The public lights are lit with the taxes we pay. Should we waste it ? I shot this 'day-light robbery' of tax-payer's money on an evening on my way back home. This street lamp was lit at 4:10 PM as we can see bright day light behind the lamp. This wasn't the single lamp. Every single lamp along the road was lit.

We can ill-afford this, but this is what is happening in every state, every place and every nook and corner of our country. When I pointed this out, the general reaction was, "This is nothing. It happens everywhere". My question is, "But why ? Why does this happen everywhere ? Why should it happen at all ?" This happens because, "We just don't care !"

Day Light Robbery of Electricity !

Bad Roads: How a small hole unfilled in time becomes a POTHOLE is known to all of us. Yet our administration has mostly remained completely oblivious and that is how we have so many potholes littering our roads soon after every monsoon. "A Stitch in times saves nine". We have learned. But we some how prefer to wait till 9 and even 99 are necessitated.

POTHOLE in the making...

POTHOLES Family !

If we the people begin to question government, the rulers will have to answer and behave. Else we have the power to change them in the next elections and teach them a lesson. It is another matter that many of us don't even bother.

But before we exercise our powers, let us ask ourselves, "Are we doing our duties as citizens ? Are we doing the small things that matter ?"

Let us do the small things right. It is never too late to learn, reform and work for a better tomorrow !


Dr. Punned-it

Old is Gold; How Old ?

How Old is 'Old is Gold' ?

My love for Old Hindi film music is well advertised in my circle and even in the immediate periphery. Many Medical Sales Representatives come to me with soft copies of old music. And many of them make copies from my collection.

One hitherto unknown boy in early twenties came to my room this afternoon. He looked a bit hesitant and introduced himself and the products of his company. Since he was lingering around even after that, I asked him if there was anything else.

"Yes Sir" he told, "I heard you have a good collection of Old Hindi Songs. Can you give me some old songs Sit ?". I replied, "Fine, bring a disc or a pen drive. Choose your song from my collection and let us make a copy". He wanted to see the sample of my collection.

I played out some old songs for him from my PC, which I thought were old. He clearly wasn't impressed. He said, "What songs are these Sir ? I want 'Old' songs". Hence I asked, "Tell me which are your old songs ?". He said, "Mujhe neend na aaye, mujhe neend na aaye... This Aamir Khan song from 'Dil' movie Sir. Do you have it ? Have you heard it ?"

My head was spinning as I tried to control myself from falling off my chair. I replied, "Oh I am sorry, I don't have 'That' old songs. This is all I have". The boy was quite gracious and granted, "That's alright Sir, it is such an old song. Very difficult to get. It is a 'Classic' Sir. If I get a copy, I will definitely give you one". I thanked him profusely and saw him off because I had to laugh and it would have been rude to do so in front of him.

After recovering from the bout of solo laughter, I started to think. I am forty and he is just out of college. So what is old and precious for me need not be so for him. He perhaps doesn't even know of the 'Golden  Generation' of Rafi, Kishore, Mukesh, Manna Dey, Talat Mahamood and Hemant Kumar etc.

This also brought back memories of two of my uncles denouncing Kishore Kumar as a gimmicks singer. For them Rafi was the epitome of melody and Mukesh was the most soulful singer of all times. But my maternal grandfather believed all singers evolved copying Kundan Lal Saigal. He also held a strong belief that Lata Mangeshkar started out copying Noor Jehan.

Anil Kapoor was blamed of aping Bachchan and Bachchan himself was accused of copying Dilip Kumar. Shah Rukh Khan once declared on live television that Shahid Kapoor was copying SRK. Shahid retaliated saying SRK was aping Bachchan. Both of them were engaged in a light hearted banter. But there is truth in what both of them said that night.

When we look at the body of work of all these people from K. L. Saigal to Shahid Kapoor, we do realize that there is some kind of inspiration drawn somewhere at some point of time. It is extremely difficult to be completely original.

Banting and McLeod won the Nobel Prize for discovery of Insulin. But it was Banting and Best team that worked on it. Very few people know Best became a part of the work on Insulin thanks to a flip of a coin that favored him over Clarke Noble. Noble somehow was not made for Nobel whereas Best was the Best Man in the right place at the right time.

Another fact that has eluded people is that Collip worked day and night for twelve days to get the purified Pancreatic extract after the first experiment lead to severe allergy. But Collip never really received the credit that was due to him. But all these people were inspired by someone called Oskar Minowski.

Today we have highly purified Human Insulins and Insulin Mimetics and Pumps and a host of new inventions. But can we say the present lot is better than the old lot ? Or do we imply 'Old is Gold' indeed ?

No idea is so revolutionary that it wouldn't become old some day. And many of those outdated styles, ideas or people were actually 'The Happening' once upon a time. Time and tide wait for none and the best of the people are washed away by the flow of time.

I have learned one more lesson. 'Old is Gold' indeed. But how 'old is Old' perhaps depends upon how old is the subject and how old the object is !

So anyone who thinks 'Old is Gold' and 'Old alone is Gold' should listen to This, This and This and many more ! And those who consider only present day as current and all past is dead should realize all of today will be yesterday when tomorrow comes !

So let me conclude with something that I consider 'Old is Gold' and will always remain so !


Dr. Pun-dit

Those Wonderful Little Things !

Proud Father of a Loving Daughter !

Life truly is strange. Little things in life make a big difference to us and little kids often humble us. I am talking about my own kid. My most precious treasure that is my Daughter.

She is all of ten years old and is in Class VI. Her name is Samskruthy. The meaning of this word is civilization or culture. I had always kept this close to my heart and wanted to name my daughter Samskruthy.

I always yearned for a baby girl for myself even while I was a very young boy. When I was 21 or so, I decided to name her Samskruthy ! I married 5 years later and she came another year later. Ever since, my life and that of my wife has revolved around her.

I am a proud father because my child is a fairly nice kid and is reasonably good at studies. She also loves to sing and dance, like most of the kids. I have encouraged her to do what she loves. She is pretty famous with her friends, teachers and even my friends because of her nature, looks and talent.

I have thought of my daughter to be very lucky because she was ‘blessed’ with a doting father and a loving family. It never really struck me how much my little one loved me and what I meant to her. And then happened this ‘Little’ incident during our recent visit to Goa.

It was a family affair at Goa with a lot of people from my father’s family gathering for a function. Since we settled down in Kochi about a decade ago, our visits to my native place and to our family members have been rare and only for special occasions.

My little one was thoroughly enjoying the affection and adulation of people from my place. Everyone was talking about how cute and beautiful she has grown up into. Every adult was congratulating me for having a very obedient child.

And then there were the other children; the children of my cousins. One teen-aged boy whose name is Sreenivas aka Shinnu was the leader of the pack. There was Venkatraman aka Ajay, Anusree aka Ammunu and Kanthisree aka Tipny. Shinnu was very keen to play 'Big Brother' to my daughter because he rarely got a chance to do that due to the distance between our places.

We were staying in rooms attached to the Maha Lakshmi Temple at Ponda. We had to walk about three quarters of a kilometer to the canteen for the dinner. On our way, I was walking ahead of all. Shinnu was leading the kids a few paces behind me. They were chatting and were generally enjoying.

Shinnu suddenly asked my daughter, “Who is your favorite hero ?” I overheard my little one tell “Govind Raj Shenoy” This was absolutely unexpected for all of us around and it completely humbled me and Shinnu was absolutely surprised.

He came running to me and was ecstatic ! He was shouting jubilantly, “Govind Bappa it is so wonderful to hear Samskruthy. Simply superb ! I expected her to come up with answers like Aamir Khan, Shah Rukh Khan or Hritik Roshan. But what she told means 'My Father is my Hero' India will be a much better place with a father like you and a daughter like her !”

Now, isn’t it cute, touching, heartwarming, humbling, overwhelming and love-inspiring all at once ? I am writing this with a real lump-in-the-throat feeling.

I don’t know if India will be a better place with fathers like me, but it sure will be a wonderful place with daughters like HER ! I have learned a very precious lesson about love and affection and I shall remember and treasure this !

Dr. Pun-dit