Wah Mumtaz !

Facebook and Twitter have over the past two years, gradually weaned me off Blogger and kept me away from it for one whole year.. But honestly, I am never made for the 140 characters mad scramble and have always relished the elaborate expression of Blogging. What happened yesterday made me yearn to come back and Blog because that made me feel good, actually feel better. Well, not really, this must be the best I have felt in a long long time.

Mumtaz: The incredible Anseema's magnificent Mother !

Image borrowed from the WWW

My Sunday morning Clinic for me, is not only a means to pocket a few Dollars more. It often enriches me thanks to some relaxed and laid back interactions with my clients. It was one such afternoon yesterday. Anseema, a twenty year old final degree Commerce student was my last client for the day. She was told by some Homeopath that she had some heart disease. Both the girl and her mother looked extremely anxious. Only problem I could detect in her was she was ridiculously small for date at just a few milligrams over 30 kilos.

After a thorough examination, I leaned back on my chair and told the mother and daughter, "See, this girl has absolutely no heart problem. I understand she has never been hospitalized for any illness to-date. If anyone has to find any problem with her, it has to be her weight. Even that should not matter for you people. But since your community insists on early marriages, she may need to gain about 10 kilos to be ready for marriage. No other problems...".

The girl cut me off at this stage and said, "No Sir, I will not marry now. Not at all. I want to study and find a good job for myself. I will not even think of marriage till then". At this point, I turned to her mother and told, "See, in your community, most of the girls are married off early. I know a very beautiful and intelligent girl whom I knew as a child and she was married off at the age of 16 and by 17, she had become a mother. I request you to stand by your child and educate her and do not think of marriage, at least till 23."

The mother looked serious, gave a deep sigh and said, "No Sir, not 23". My heart almost sank at this stage but I let her continue without interfering. She continued, "I want her to complete MBA and be a woman of her own. She will not marry before 27 and even after that, will marry when she wants to. I married early at 17 and I know how miserable it is. My child will not become another maid servant. She will live a life of dignity...!". The very affable and serene countenance of this young mother never betrayed the determination and steel within her. Absolutely stunning lady.

I got up from my chair and saluted this mother, Mumtaz of the modern era. I told her, "You have made my day and I congratulate you for your conviction, courage and boldness. Please stay on course and please do remember me if you people need any kind of assistance from me at any time. I would definitely love to be there on the day of Anseema's MBA graduation ceremony."

I shall never forget these two people, whom I underestimated when they walked into my consultation room. Both the beautiful women left my clinic with wonderful smiles on their faces and a surreal lump in my throat. The world needs more and more people like Mumtaz and her Anseema.

PS: These names are real and I have taken their permission to mention them here because India needs to hear and know more about more such people. Whatever reach this post achieves should be a boost for the Girl-Child Education.



Dr. Punned-it

Rape and the Indian Culture : My Sacred Left Foot !

Ever since the Delhi rape took the national media by storm, we have had unending queue of people making an ass of themselves on the print and electronic media.

A Minister said, the girls shouldn't cross the Lakshman Rekha. If they do, they'll be kidnapped like Sita of Ramayan !

A self-proclaimed Bapu blamed the girl for the rape and prophesied that she would have saved herself if she had begged them for mercy and called them "Bhayya" or brother !

The RSS chief says a woman has to satisfy a man and keep him happy for her to receive appreciation or some nonsense like that !

As women all over the country protest and people ask for tougher punishments for the offenders, these people with verbal diarrhea keep defecating through their unholy mouths. And then our Prime Minister finally opens his mouth and says, "Theek Hai" or "It's OK" !

A couple of months ago, my 14 year old daughter was harassed and abused by some pranksters on the Facebook. She protested and I too joined issues. What was the reaction we got ?

A lady said, "You should not post photos on Facebook. You should not wear exposing dresses. You should not allow boys to be friends. There are so many security controls on Facebook. So on and on...". My daughter questioned, "What if people abuse via messages and how am I supposed to know who is good and who is not ?" She got a reply, "If you sleep with your room unlocked, people will rob you".

I joined issues saying, "Facebook is not a hotel room but an open road. If some abnormal men abuse a woman in public, isn't it our duty to stand up and question them and stop them ? Doesn't she have the right to protest ?". The reply I got was very enlightening. The lady said, "I thought you people have some sense and tried to help you. But now I know you have invited this. Serves you right !"

Another man asked, "Can a 14 year old GIRL have a Facebook account ?". Having entered modeling and cinema field, my daughter has been active on Facebook and has maintained a decent decorum and I keep strict vigil on her page to keep it clean. In spite of that, some delinquents come and create nuisance.

I stopped protesting but took the direct mode of action and called those people on the given phone numbers and gave a decent warning and cut them off. But there always is a risk, some of these people might harm my child in future. So I try to keep things simple and secret. What else can a father do ?

I had to elaborate so much only because we have a mentality where people start preaching to girls how to dress, how to behave, what to do and what not to do, where to sit and where not to go and finally how to breathe in public.

I find it to be a humongous insult to entire 'Mankind' when people say, "Women wearing sexy dresses instigate men to rape them". This actually labels as every man as an entity with a tendency to rape against instigation. A small stretch of feminine skin is enough to bring the rapist out of a man ! This is what it means. I am NOT ready to buy this. I can't be and I am NOT what these people are planning to brand me !

We do have a whole hogwash of western influence being reason for rapes and abuse of women. What an unadulterated blasphemy ! Let us just look at our 'Puranas'. Let's take the God business out of them and look at them as unchronicled 'History' or even fiction. What do we see there ?

Ram wins over Lanka and frees his wife Sita. Then he forces her to jump into fire [Agni Pareeksha] before accepting her as 'pure'. And then what does the duffer do ? He abandons her in the jungle when she is pregnant just because of a drunken idiot's nonsensical and inebriated brawl. This is how history has treated women in India !

A lecherous Indra seduces the unsuspecting Ahalya by disguising as her husband. What is the result ? The woman is cursed to end up as a stone till she is redeemed from the curse by the 'lotus feet' of a man who himself abandoned his wife later for no fault of hers. This is how history has treated women in India !

The Queen of Indraprastha with five husbands gets herself pawned in a game of dice because her idiotic husband can't quit the vice. Panchali is disrobed in the court of Hastinapur with all elders and wise-men being witness to the horrible act. An eye-wash opposition and then some vainglorious statements by her husbands is all that she gets. The woman is referred to as 'Commodity' by Duryodhan and that is not opposed by anyone in that court. This is how history has treated women in India !

Just consider the fact; this was the plight of women belonging to Royal families. Now imagine what would have been the life of common-woman ! "Yatra Naaryastu Poojante, Ramante Tatra Devata" - "The God's make an abode where women are adored" says some damn scripture and then they also say, "Na Stree Swaatantryamarhasi" - "The woman doesn't deserve freedom" !

With this kind of history, legacy, wisdom, knowledge, literature and religious righteousness, do we really need western influence ? Western societies are a lot more equal and nicer to woman today than India is. This is a fact. We boast of having had a woman Prime Minister, multiple women Chief Ministers, woman President and many women in high places since ages. But most of them were foisted upon the people thanks to legacy or by the power of money or muscle. Lalu - Rabri rule is the best example for the later.

Female infanticide, ill-treatment of girl children, a clear male child bias in a large segment of our populace are eating into the fabric of our society. Ever since she is born, a girl is chained to a million rules while her brother can go out and do any mischief. "You are a girl, remember that !" follows every single girl in this country. If her family treats her without a bias, the 'well-meaning' society is always there to show her where she belongs; the kitchen !

A lady in her late forties, once visited us and gave us a lecture on the need to have a 'Son' in front of our daughter. She went blah blah in front of the 10 year old girl cuddling in my lap, "I can see you people are unhappy because you have only a girl. You people are making a mistake by waiting. You must pray and do poojas to beget a son as soon as possible. This girl belongs to someone else. You must have a Son who is the 'Kula Deepak' [Light of Family]. What is this pampering a girl ? I will pray to God to give you people a cute boy soon".

I cut her off and said, "Auntie, THIS child sitting in my lap is the 'Kula Deepika' of my family. SHE is the one we always wanted and SHE is the only child we will ever have. If you insist on a boy, please go ahead and produce one for yourself. For all of my family, this child is our world and it is beautiful only because of her !"

The lady took it badly and has never talked to me after that. Not that I care ! But unfortunately, as long as 'women' continue to believe in this kind of nonsense and wish and pray for a boy-child, our society will continue to encourage rape !

Dress Code : Only for Girls !

Those who wear the so called bold dresses know how to carry them and how to protect themselves. The 'modestly' dressed, lower middle-class women with 'virtues and values' are the worst victims of crimes against women and not the high society women.

If wearing 'sexy' or bold costumes is what encourages rape, what about men ? Salman Khan hardly ever wears a shirt and there are so many studs showing off their naked bodies. How about women getting turned on by this blatant nudity ? Isn't that wrong too ?

And what about our temples insisting upon men to strip before entering the temples ? The matter of fact is most of male nudity is disgusting. As disgusting as what some women feel about Rakhi Sawant. But why no moral codes of conduct for men ?

All India needs is for the people to grow up. A boy who flirts around with many women is a 'stud' whereas a girl going out with men even as part of her job is a 'slut'. It is this mentality that has chained us. Dress code doesn't stop rapes. A code that treats man and woman as equal and prevents and forbids bias from childhood alone can prevent rapes.

I wind up this long but extremely passionate post with one of my Facebook updates, which came straight from the heart !

Capital Punishment for Rape ?

Not just right. A lot of our own Soldiers, Police personnel, Superiors in office and even Doctors will have to be hanged till death in that case.

Death by "Rope" is too small a punishment for "Rape", the most heinous crime ever; worse than murder !

We must have a law amended in such way that if proved, a Rapist must be punished with...

Dismemberment of the instrument used for rape along with castration and then he should be divested all jobs, degrees and privileges of life and left with just two options; Begging for mercy or death !

PS: This might sound a little anarchic and perhaps like a medieval law. But a sick act like rape can't be treated with kid-gloves ! Many of those dismembered beggars walking the footpath can be a very strong deterrent for future offenders !

Dr. Punned-it