How I became Godless !

My Granny never lost an opportunity to remind me that I was born thanks to her prayers at Tirupathi. Since my parents' first born was a daughter, my granny made a passionate prayer to the Tirupathy God and even my name was chosen there. Thus, Govind Raj I became in a family littered with Vaishnavite names. I grew up a very proud child because of this glorification.

My first brush with amoral behavior at religious places came when I was barely 9. It was a custom in our joint family to offer coconuts, bananas and flowers to the reigning deity in our local temple on every Saturday evening. One such evening it was little  boy me who went to do this ritual. I gave all the offerings to the priest and went to do circum-ambulation [Pradakshin] of the sanctum sanctorum.

When I came back, the priest told me, "See this coconut you brought is spoiled. This is not good for your family. So you buy a new coconut and pay rupees ten as penalty also". I only had rupees 12 on me. I gave him all the money I had and he assured me that everything will be fine. He gave me a 'replacement' coconut and returned the spoiled coconut too. As is the custom, he took half piece of the good coconut, 2 out of 5 bananas and returned my bag with 'prasad'.

When I reached home, my Mom was surprised to know this. She was quite sure the coconut she gave me was not spoiled. When she checked, it turned out to be a revelation. The 'spoiled coconut' was in fact two separate pieces of two different coconuts. But much worse was the fact that the 'replacement' coconut the priest gave me was indeed the coconut I went with. My Mom recognized the huge coconut as one grown in our own backyard. It left a very bitter taste in the mouth. It shattered me to know there was such cheap act going on right under the nose of the 'God' !

There are hundreds of incidents that gradually took me away from Religion and Gods. I would stick with a few that had a defining role. There was a famous Astrologer who was close to our family. He would blame all the ills on the 'Naga' or the Serpent. I have lost count of the number of rituals my family has conducted to placate the Snake Gods ! With every such function, my indignation for the Astrologer and his predictions went on increasing. I was wondering how could a poor reptile affect so many people in so many ways.

One of those concepts that repelled me during young age was the "God will punish you if you don't do this and that" kind of talk. I used to think, "Why does this God create people who do wrong things and then want to punish them ?". I never had a satisfactory answer. Most of what the believers have done is semantic juggling.

The next issue was 'My God is the Real God and other Gods are false' preaching. Once a Christian preacher bored me to death with his unsolicited advice on the 'Real Creator' and the myths of Hindu religion and the harms of Idol worship. Respecting his age and with my inborn inability to be rude to elders, I tolerated him for almost three quarters of an hour.

Finally I was forced to ask him, "I have just one question, is Bible the final truth ?" He said, "Yes, it indeed is the ultimate truth and the only truth. Once you start following Bible, salvation is guaranteed". I replied, "But most of Biblical stories are cock and bull stories just like the Hindu mythology you were deriding so far. Bible goes against Science and evolution. Why don't you go and take some rest ?" He was offended and cursed me, "You will never know the real truth and will be condemned to eternal hell if you question the God". I was really angry and shot back, "Well, if heaven is the place where I have to tolerate people like you, I prefer to be in hell. Thank you and good night !"

The Temple - Mosque issue that divided a nation left a deep impact on me too. I have no hesitation today to admit I was in favor of 6 December 1992 demolition at that time. It was like justifying the act as retaliation against decades of Islamic atrocities. That was a mistake like many of those I have committed in my life. But as I evolved, I realized the whole issue was a non-issue. People sharing the same A, B or O Antigens were fighting for the sake of two of the most despicable characters from history. I moved further away from Gods.

The rituals, Mantras and all things religion became progressively intolerable for me. An incident at the now famous Padmanabha Temple at Thiruvananthapuram further escalated my disenchantment. I had a strong dislike for the custom of taking off shirts during temple entry. This custom has its origins in the filthy practice of Brahminical era when only those with the thread were allowed inside the temple. The more things change, the more we tend to resist change. Kerala temples haven't come out of the past; the dirty untouchable past.

In 2006, on our way to Kanyakumari; we visited the Thiruvananthapuram Temple. In spite of my dislike to go the Salman Khan way in public [no secret there, I don't have his physical attributes] I agreed to go inside the temple. I folded my jeans, took off the shirt and covered myself with a 'mundu and shawl'.

A youth standing near the gate asked me, "Are you wearing a pant inside ?" I asked him, "Yes, but how does that make a difference ?". He replied, "You can't wear a pant inside the temple". I said, "But, I have folded it till knees. Do you have a problem with knee length shorts or inner wear ?". He was rude now, "Inner wear is different. But PANT is not allowed. You can't question the customs of the temple".

I politely told him, "But I did wear a pant folded under a mundu the last time I came here. There was no problem. Why this new rule ?". He was hostile now, "This is a new rule since yesterday. You obey rules or face God's curse". I am not really good at arguing. I told my people, "I have already compromised on a lot of things I believe in just for you people. But this is beyond me. This temple will not suffer if I don't visit it and neither am I going to be any poorer if I don't enter. I am NOT going inside !".

This did hurt my parents and other relatives. But exactly at that point of time, I had learned to draw a line. I was not going to take any more religious crap. I have stayed firm to this. Not that I don't go to temples now. I do visit temples and enjoy the great food they provide in some of those temples. I also take part in some rituals just to keep my aging parents happy. If my occasional visits to the places of worship can keep them happy; it is worth doing so.

Looking at the havoc wrecked on the humanity by the people like Osama bin Laden and his followers and so many of these right-wing  religious outfits, anybody would like to think, "Do we need Gods and religions ?"

This planet is but a small part of an infinite universe. We the human beings have advanced enormously thanks to the evolution that gave us a mind. The mind tells me to trust Science. Science can go wrong. But we can always correct ourselves by accepting the folly.

But Gods, Religions and dogmas will not change. The beliefs in beliefs will not change. Knowing fully well the tonnes of rubbish associated with the religions, people still follow religions and God. At this point in time, I believe we don't need God, Gurus, Religions and salvation. They just don't exist for me. We just need oxygen, food, water, shelter and a little bit of love !


Dr. Punned-it

Beggars can't be Choosers ?

Beggars can't be Choosers !

How often have we heard this idiom ? This might be used to convey those in position of disadvantage don't get to make a choice. But reality often is different. It is the 'Common man' who can't choose, Beggar can !

Let us go to a shopping mall. Once there, we are directed by the security personnel about the where and which angle of parking. We are made to pay a parking fees on an hourly escalating basis. Still the security will not allow you to decide which is the best place for your precious vehicle.

The security staff can be extremely rude even if you ask them to spare a couple of minutes for your aged ones to get down. You ask for directions to the main entrance and expect a curt if not downright rude answer. Often you might be shocked by no response at all. If they are very kind, they might point a finger vaguely and you will have to wade through the confusion.

You are frisked by the security at the entrance. You are asked to open your handbag, valet and even deposit it at the reception. All this 'treatment' is for the crime of going to shop there. And you ask yourself, "Are we Beggars to be treated thus ?"

Not for a moment am I questioning the security measures. They are necessary and we live in an era of continued seize in spite of the death of Oasma bin Laden. I was surprised recently by the absolute lack of security during an IPL match at Kochi. But all acts of security checking can be done with a bit of politeness and nicety. Is it too much to expect 'Politeness' ?

Using the word 'Beggar' is politically incorrect today. They probably will be happy to hold the portfolio of "Professional Free Assistance Seeking Officer" or something like that. Can't even call a spade a sickle today. So respect all professions. What he / she does is his / her profession.

There were reports of Rich PFASOs owning houses, properties and big bank balances with the profession being a family enterprise. Well, if a Politician's progeny can be Politician with no questions asked, why not ?

I am on a Pilgrimage, give me 'My Share' !

This post started questioning 'Beggars can't be choosers' idiom. Hence let me elaborate. There was an old man who came every Saturday morning for alms. He was a nice man and polite. But wouldn't budge if he felt what we gave him was insufficient. He wouldn't complain but would stand there till my mother gave him more. After every 3 or 4 months, he would say, "I will not be coming next two weeks. Going to Vellankani. So give my share for the next 2 weeks today itself and add some more for the pilgrimage. The Mother will bless you"

Great Expectations !

We all know how PFASOs refuse coins these days. Many a times, I have come across PFASOs saying, "What will five rupees buy today ? If you give, give something substantial. I can't even buy a meal with this pittance". One beggar threw the one rupee coin I gave him back at me as I was about to leave. I couldn't understand what he was muttering though I could understand he was obviously cursing. God, piety, luck, prosperity, hereafter, heaven and hell and Dharma are the commonest words used by these people to cajole, threaten and even extort.

Curse of a Pious Man !

A family of 8 people dressed very decently came without knocking one day. They had crowded my living room after entering my home without permission. They claimed to be from Maharashtra, belonging to our community. The headman said, "We are one community. We lost our properties due to flood, famine and drought. You must help us because you can't be having dignified people of our community begging". 

Looking at a printed letter in Hindi, Marathi and English, purportedly attested by some Gazetted Officer; I offered to pay fifty rupees. He said, "Oho Brother, I said we are not beggars. We are dignified people. We need cloths, money and even food. We don't want this kind of 'Bhiksha'. Be generous and God will be generous to you".

I asked him, "So what do you expect ?". He then started name dropping of his kind. He blurted out the names of big people who had given him thousands of rupees, new dresses and even silverware. I tried to be polite and said, "But I am not a rich man. This is all I can afford to give". He immediately admonished me, "Never say you are not a rich man. The Gods will curse you to eternal poverty. What you give is yours. What you hide is taken by others. A generous man will go to heaven and the selfish will rot in hell. Don't lead your life to hell..."

I could take it no longer. I cut him down and I asked, "So where will you go ? What will happen to those who have all their body parts in good condition and still prefer to extract alms from other people rather than work for a living ?". He became furious and snorted, "You have insulted a cultured and proud family and a pious man. I curse you to rot in hell for 32,000 years. You and your family will never see good days from now".

Worried at rotting in hell for such a long time, my Mom pleaded with me to placate him and give him more money. He immediately jumped in between us and said, "Look, a worthy lady for a Mother. Listen to her and atone your sin. Else all of your family, children and  even future generations will suffer the consequences of your sin..."

I gestured him to stop and said, "Stop right there. I would prefer to rot in hell for 96000 years if such a place exists, than give a damned coin to you. You leave my home NOW without uttering another word of your gibberish. Else I will punch your nose till you bleed and then call Police to say you tried to rob us. LEAVE RIGHT NOW".

Look how Beggars choose to choose ! A topic like this can go on and on. We all have these kind of experiences. But I have to stop here for the lack of brevity my posts always attain. May be more stories on another day. There will never be a dearth of 'Choosers' in this land !




Dr. Pundit