Palm Wine, Fenny and My Experiments with Truth !

In Vino Veritas; In Wine Lies The Truth !

I have often been dismissed as a hopeless and completely useless appendage by my friends and advised to mend my ways for a hip, happy and happening life. My Mom comforts herself in the belief that her son is 'clean' at the age of 42. One good thing about me is there is at least one reason for my wife to be happy about her husband.

The reason for all this is that I don't 'drink'. Thus according to my friends, I have wasted almost 60% of my life while expecting to kick the bucket at 70. The tragedy if I die much earlier isn't just that I will be merely kicking the bucket. But I will be doing so by considerably increasing the percentage of the wasted life !

But am I really a teetotaler ? Historically speaking, nope ! I am not the 'good son' my Mom has always believed me to be. Nor my wife is fully right about my virgin status when it comes to the ultimate 'truth serum' also known as alcohol !

In vino veritas: In wine there is the truth. The centuries old wisdom has more than a pint of truth in it. I have seen most of my friends becoming extremely generous, emotional and truthful after downing a couple of pegs. So what if it isn't strictly wine they are consuming ? All forms of alcohol has been included in the category when they said, "In wine lies the truth". Perhaps the intensity of truth varies with the concentration of the serum in the liquid.

Can we actually say, "In wine lies the truth" ? Doesn't it becomes an oxymoron ? How can the truth lie ? Well, that wanders into the linguistic domain and that will require another post. I have written about the "Spiritual aspects of the Truth Serum" before. This is about MY experiments with the "Truth serum" and let me come back to that.

My earliest experiment with truth began at a very young boy, perhaps at 7 years of age. We used to have a guy called Chukudu bringing us freshly distilled 'Palm Wine'. It used to be sweet and very tasty. It was believed to be good for the underweight kids with lack of appetite. I was so underweight those days, even the good old 'Kallu' couldn't help my appetite. I don't remember when and why it stopped flowing. Perhaps the fear of boys growing up with addiction ended it all.

small G !

By the time I was 10 years old, I graduated to serious stuff.  There always was a stock of Goan Cashew Fenny in our home. It was supposed to be good for the cold and fever. Our grandfather used to give us this semi-sweet but funny tasting liquid in small ounce glasses when we had cold and fever. I don't know how I developed a liking for this stuff. On a fine rainy day, I ended up guzzling quite a lot of it in small quantities at small intervals without any of the elders coming to know. I replaced the liquid with equal quantity of water each time. I ended up sleeping almost an entire day and beyond after that. May be because I realized it was the effect of the burning liquid, I gave up on that. Even though nobody at home came to know of this adventure, grandpa was heard complaining about the Fenny having lost its potency !

Joining Medical College Bellary brought me to a new world. There were teenaged boys getting a feel of the freedom for the first time during hostel life. A lot of boys lost their alcohol virginity. I stayed off alcohol may be because of the financial implications or may be because of the promise I had made to my Mom. I am not sure if it was the good son or the helpless son who remained teetotaler.

But that doesn't mean I don't like alcohol. I have guzzled down those Ayurvedic "Arishtams" during childhood. I used to love them and I love them even today; especially the "Dashamoolarishtam". That definitely proves I do like alcohol when they come in the taste that suits me.

I have enjoyed the "Grape wine" prepared by Christian aunties in Kerala. Many of them have been kind to offer me bottles of this sweet and tasty beverage every year. I have stayed off this 'wine' for sometime now after I developed severe acidity following ingestion of a whole bottle of that during a holiday with my cousins in Nelliampathy about 6 years ago.

During our rainy holiday in Madikeri in August 2008, I obliged my friends and ordered some wine. But this wine was not the grape wine I had enjoyed. It turned out to be something stronger and hit me hard. I ended up with a burned tummy and a spinning head. But managed to survive to write this story.

Rain, Wine and Dine !

During our Bellary Alumni Reunion with the delicious acronym BAR in December 2010, Murali tried to graduate me with his brand of a cocktail or mock tail. But it turned out to be a knock-tail and was really damn-awful. I had to disappoint him and ended up as miserable as I always have been. But the BAR definitely was a great experience.

Raising the BAR !

Finally we come to "Zindagee Na Milegi Dobara" in December 2011 in Kundapur. The night of 26 December, I was finally convinced to take 'at least something'. So I took about 5ml of some drink and mixed it with 300ml of Sprite and then sat with the men as a man. Unfortunately, I still couldn't finish that drink. Next day on the island, Dabs forced me to finish off what was left at the bottom of a beer bottle. Thus finally, my hitherto wasted life has been given some kind of salvation  !

Truth seekers on isolated island !

Kingfisher Grounded !

Hence at last, I have truly and truthfully gained the legitimacy to say and write, "Live, Love and Laugh !"




Dr. Punned-it

Life is a game of Antakshari : There's a song in every moment !

My daughter was in a great mood this morning and quoted some dialogues from a movie and said, "That dialogue about 'We are born to eat' from the movie 'Salt & Pepper' belongs to my father and they have copied him". I just sang these lines to her though my Mom hates to listen me sing this...

"Mujhse pehele kitne shaayar aaye aur aakar chale gaye,
Kuch aahen bhar kar laut gaye, kuch nagme gaakar chale gaye,
Woh bhi ek pal ka kissa the, mai bhi ek pal ka kissa hoon,
Kal tumse juda ho jaaoonga woh aaj tumhaara hissa hoon"

Hindi Cinema, especially the old Hindi songs are so deeply ingrained in me, that I often believe I wouldn't have been 'Me' but for Hindi songs. For any situation in life, I somehow have to bring a song. Funny, interesting, happy, sad and just about anything; I end up singing a song that I feel suits the situation. Often it might end up being a mild parody but I always seem to have a song for the occasion !

'Abject Poverty' is how we used to describe our financial status in Medical College, Bellary. Anyone with a hundred rupee bill on him after the first weekend was considered a 'King'. There were more paupers than the Kings but that never stopped us from going out for our favorite Chicken dishes and Cinema. Things somehow always worked out.

On one such evening, we all enjoyed the dinner. Then the final part of the program came. It was time to pick up the bill. That was when none was rushing towards the plate and I had the right song for the moment, "Bill hai ke maantha nahin, Yeh Beqaraari kyun ho rahi hai, yeh jaantaa hi nahin, Oho Oho Oho Bill hai ke maanta nahin".

During another dinner, I piously held out the tray containing the bill before Shiva Kumar and sang, "Bill-aanaam darshanam punyam sparshanam paapa naashanam, aghora paapa samhaaram eka Bill-am Shiva-aarpanam"

Other songs that went with the 'Bill' were, "Bill deke dekho Bill deke dekho Bill deke dekho ji, Bill lenewaalon Bill dena seekho ji" and "Oh Mere Bill ke chain, chain aaye mere Bill ko chuka deejiye".

I have since carried this habit beyond Bellary. I took my fiancee for dinner soon after our engagement. Once the dinner was over, she went to the wash room. I finished the formality of paying the bill before she returned. And as I began to walk out, she gave me a nudge and asked, "Did you pay the bill ?". I sang to her in low volume, "Bill diya hai, Jaan bhi denge, Aye Sanam tere liye, Har Karam apnaa karenge Aye Sanam tere liye". Unfortunately, she didn't understand that and she still doesn't relate to this extempore song for the moment concept !

But my daughter is more than game for this kind of showmanship. In fact, she expects me to break into a parody every time something interesting happens. It all started when she was about 5 years old. She hurt herself after a fall and began to wail. That is something I just can't see and I sang, "Dekha Phoolon ko kaanton pe sote huve, Dekha toofaan ko kashti dubothe huve, Dekh saktaa hoon mai kuch bhi hote huve, Nahin mai naheen dekh sakta tujhe rote huve".

She was too young to understand the words but loved the soothing hug of her Appe. Today, she understands Hindi and loves these instant songs. My fondest nickname for her is 'Piya' and my stock song for her is "Piya Piya oh Piya Piya". It is these beautiful moments that make life worth living !

It isn't as if my wife has no taste for music or she doesn't like my songs. It just is that she has her own favorites and she sticks to them. A few lines my wife likes when I sing for her are, "Tumhe koi aur dekhe toh jalta hain Dil, Badi Mushqilon se phir sambhalta hai dil" and ...

When people were talking about the gay relationship between a famous Superstar and an equally high profile Director; I had dedicated a song for them, "Bas yehee apraadh mai har baar karta hoon, Aadmi hoon aadmi se pyaar karta hoon".

I had an entire Blog-post dedicating songs to each of Team India members during the 2011 Cricket world cup campaign. I believe there is a song in every moment and a moment in every song that defines life. We just have to have the ear and the soul for the music !

I can go on 'linking' songs to everything that happens in everyday life. But this post can't not go on forever. So let me conclude with, "Thanks to Hindi Cinema music, life is a game of Antakshari for me and mine. Hope the songs remain happy ones and continue to flow till last breath. Hope the music never deserts me all life".



Dr. Punned-it

Spiritual Wisdom in God's Own Country !

2 April 2011. Me, my wife and our daughter; we were driving back from Kovalam to reach in time for the World Cup Final. Well, those two were not bothered. But it mattered to me.

On the way, my wife noticed several long and orderly queues in front of the IMFL shops. She chuckled in disgust, "I have never seen a single man at the ration shop. Look at this, these people are good for nothing". I sympathized with her; even I have never been in a ration shop queue.

The only place where they respect the Queue !

It is another matter that I have never been in a queue at the liquor shop too. Alcohol never interested me. It may be the strict lower middle class values inculcated by my Mom. It could be financial difficulties. Or it just could be the Genes. In spite of a lot of perseverance and concerted efforts by some of my friends and some cousins, I have remained a teetotaler. A hopeless one at that !

Why should we have Friends ?

A very dear friend declared during one of our many reunions, "Hey Man, it is such a shame you still haven't tasted life. You have wasted, mind you... absolutely wasted 40 years of your life. I pity you, you good for nothing fellow". He even helped me to initiate then and there. To please him, I halfheartedly tried to take a dip. But couldn't take even a sip of that atrocious cocktail he conjured up and thus failed again. Miserable me !

A matter of Life and Death !

A cousin went on to prophesize, "Govind, what life are you living ? You don't smoke. Don't drink. Gave up non-veg. Such a silly waste of life ! You know what ? Long after all of us, your contemporaries are dead; you will still be alive. And your great grand-kids will curse that the old man isn't kicking the bucket. At least enjoy drinking so that you live well with us now and die along with us !"

My Experiments with Spirit !

All this wisdom has somehow failed to dawn on me. The grape wine presented by Christian friends during Christmas is all the taste of Alcohol I have had so far. I can't discount some of those Ayurvedic medicines given to us during childhood. The Arishtams have good Alcohol content.

Well, I also must confess I faintly remember the taste or the pungency of the Goan Cashew Fenny given to us when we had cold and fever during childhood. It was a strictly monitored affair and was restricted to half an ounce.

That is just about everything when it comes to my tryst with Alcohol. Some appetizers used as prescription medicines do contain 2 - 4% Alcohol. But being the voracious eater that I was, my parents never had to worry about my appetite. If at all, they perhaps secretly wished for someone to invent some kind of appetite suppressants !

A Spirited 'Love' Story !

Coming back to Alcohol, one wise gentleman told me, "Doctor, I have gone through your Blog. You talk about 'Live, Love and Laugh'. But you haven't lived at all. If you don't love your Liquor, you have not lived. So where does the question laughing come ?".

I shot back a sharp question, "Do you mean I am dead man walking ?". He apologized and said, "No, no, sorry, very sorry, not like that. It is just that those who don't drink will never experience the true emotions of love and laughter." I wanted him to elaborate on it and he had a story.

See Doctor Sir, I was in love with a girl when I was about 25. She also liked me. But you see, she was a Christian, and I am a Hindu, Nair. It was very difficult. But after a lot of effort, she agreed to come with me and marry me. She finally said those words, I Love You. That was the most beautiful day of my life.

But what happened ? Ask me what happened. Her father and uncles came to know. They came to our house and threatened us. My parents and sisters were threatened. And before I could react, she was married off to a boy from Saudi. She went off without a bother. Never tried to find out if this animal was alive or dead. Sounds like Cinema, right ?

Well, I am not exactly Devadas to drink and destroy my life. But I started drinking only after that. Then I also got married. But could never love my wife, because I still loved that girl. So I started drinking and that helped me. I could imagine my wife was her and that changed our life.

We have a great life now. Though my wife initially disliked my drinking, she slowly started liking that. I loved her more when I took drinks. I drink, I love and I laugh. Without drinking, our life would have been zero. That is why I say, you can't love or laugh if you don't drink. That again was some more wisdom !

A Spiritual Discourse !

Another much younger chap has a different outlook towards Alcohol. It is possible he is an inspired spirit or has borrowed his spiritual wisdom from somewhere. Whatever it be, his opinions make interesting copy.

All those who say Liquor is bad for health are just idiots. What is Liquor ? Alcohol. What is Alcohol ? An Antiseptic and Anti-Bacterial. You Medical people use it for disinfection. That thing you rub on wounds to clean it and keep it healthy is the same stuff we drink, much more diluted. So it can't be good in one place and bad in another.

Liquor prevents infections. It also protects us from developing food poisoning. Even 'Heart Specialists' advice moderate amount of liquor. It is an appetizer, coolant and also causes a lot of urination. Thus it prevents kidney stones. Some people say drinking 3 -4 liters of water a day prevents kidney stones. I say rubbish, you just need a bottle of beer for that.

I asked him, "So what is your opinion about drinking and driving ? Is that good too ?". He replied with no hesitation, "No, not good, not good at all". Excited, I asked again, "So you agree drinking is bad ?". He was emphatic now, "Nonsense. I said, Drink, don't Drive !"

I just swallowed all this wisdom because this chap was in high spirits and I couldn't have won arguing !

Bar Boys !

We held a small get together of our friends from Bellary Medical College during last Christmas vacation. It was a crowd of mostly those living in and around Mangalore. The whole affair was in really 'High Spirits'. And we called the event "Bellary Alumni Reunion". As it turned out, the abbreviation was a deliciously coined, "BAR" !

The 'BAR' Boys !

The Joke is on !

There are millions of jokes about the Liquor and the watering holes. Some very innovative ones need a mention here. Those that have impressed me and entertained me.

What is common between a Bar and a Bra ? Both drive men mad when open !

The latest theory is that drinking beer turns men into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that all the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong !

I should not be considered a Male Chauvinist. These are old jokes. But there is something about Alcohol and men. I really have seen them become emotional, lovable and even magnanimous. But the best case was a very close friend who was a very careless chap in day to day life. Very unorganized and loose talking guy, he became too gentlemanly once the 'Spirit' took him over. He was one of the best behaved guys I have seen when drunk !

The Magnanimous Classmate !

Long ago, perhaps in 1990, a classmate in Bellary made an unbelievable offer to me. Sitting in a popular joint that also had an attached bar; this chap pleaded with me, "Hey Shenoy, please man, please. Just take one glass of beer. Just one for me and our friendship. I will buy you whatever food you want. I will also sponsor a cinema tonight. And I will give you hundred bucks. Just one glass...".

I politely but firmly refused his magnanimity. Cursing me to eternal agony in hell, he left me to join his group of friends at the other corner of the restaurant. Later I was told by a common friend that this chap had a bet for a thousand bucks. He had challenged another friend that he'd get Shenoy drunk. A nonspiritual Imbecile Shenoy !

Well, after dwelling at length on 'Jevan' in my last post, I had to leave to catch up with my grub. No such luck here. I am not going to a watering hole or Bar for my fill. Especially at 1:30 AM. I get drunk on other things. Things like Cricket, Cinema, Comedy and of course boring people with my blogs. Can't help, Like Alcoholism, Old Habits die hard !


Dr. Pundit

Kaalaaya Tasmai Namaha !

Kaalaaya Tasmai Namaha !

'I Salute You Time'

Am I losing my touch ?

Ever since my boyhood, I have taken pride about my ability to predict what will happen in two fields; Cricket and Movies. No Movie I declared as a 'Hit' ever failed and I never failed to predict a flop.

I also predicted how matches will turn while following them live. Most of the times pretty close and often absolutely point blank. All that was till yesterday. I have lost it ! I think I am getting old.

Yes, I saw 'Maine Pyaar Kiya' on first day at my native place on video. I returned to Bellary and told my friends, "Here is a New Star and a big hit". Then I declared at the first glimpse of this man that here is the Next Super Star of India. Was I right ?

Watching movies on the first day has been a passion. My profession and age have made it tough these days. Yet I do make it a point to catch up with the big movies. Though I loved Mani Ratnam's 'Dil Se' I knew this was going to bomb at the box-office, thanks to the blast at the end.

I don't remember a movie that flopped once I declared it a hit on day one. This should not be considered arrogance. It was happening. My colleague Dr. Preetha didn't like the movie 'Hulchul' one bit. Neither did I like it because it wasn't a patch on the Malayalam original 'Godfather'. But watching the reaction of the predominantly North Indian crowd, I knew Priyan had hit the jackpot !

Watching the larger than life and arrogant character of Mohanlal in Malayalam movie 'Narasimham', I felt this was the beginning of the end of an Actor-Star. I told my Mohanlal fan colleagues, "If he continues to act in such movies, he will churn out flops after flops in near future". Mohanlal's career graph took a nosedive after just one more of those 'Inhuman' characters. The magic has gone missing ever since !

I took my family to watch Raju Hirani's '3 Idiots' on day one thanks to his Munna Bhai movies. Half an hour into the movie, I told my wife this was going to be one of the all-time big hits of Indian Cinema.

In Cricket too, I have predicted many things correctly; including Rahul Dravid becoming the most successful Indian Batsman after Sachin, though it was Dada who made larger waves initially. Except for my failure to foresee Vinod Kambli's self-destruction, I have done fairly well with Cricket too.

But all that seems like a distant dream today. My friend Mohan taunted me this evening, "Sir, you have lost your predicting power" after India won the Mohali test by a whisker. I had declared last night that India will be gone before lunch on this fifth day wicket. I didn't count Laxman to bat at all.

But more hurting was my failure to read 'Enthiran the Robot'. Except for the coinage "Robo Sapiens" I found the movie tedious and mostly intolerable. I told Mohan last Friday night, "I haven't watched such a mega-disappointment as this. Why have they wasted so much money on this nonsense ?" After the first weekend, even Rajni Can't save this one !"

But Reviewer after Reviewer had gone gaga over Rajni. I thought these must be paid reviews. And then comes this news ! So Mohan must be seriously right that I have seriously lost touch with reality. What I didn't like has become a 'Robotic' Hit of gigantic proportions !

All I can say is, every predictor has his day. All good things have to come to an end. All things and beings in this world come with an expiry date !

'Kaalaaya Tasmai Namaha'




Dr. Pun-dit

Eighteen year old curse !

During our recent travel by train from Goa to Kochi, my family of five had a terrible experience. Being vegetarians, we literally had to starve through our journey between Kasaragod and Kochi. Not a grain of vegetarian food was available on board or in railway stations in Kerala.

I even wrote to the New Indian Express in the letters to the Editor column. I went to the extent of calling Kerala “God’s own Non-vegetarian Country” Being a vegetarian in Kerala is a big curse. Be it functions, parties or during travel; we have to suffer for want of quality food. And I don’t have any hopes this will ever change. Vegetarians will always remain second-class citizens in Kerala.

But was I a veggie all my life? Far from it, I was a vociferous non-vegetarian until a decade ago. I used to love chicken, fish, prawns and crabs. We used to have jokes like “I love animals, they are so very tasty!”

But once my little daughter was born in November 1998, things started to change. Whenever I saw fish in the aquarium or little chicken running around, I used to feel a tug somewhere inside me. I used to think, “Oh Goodness, aren’t these the same things that I am eating?” There was an unfailing tendency to equate the chicken and fish with my little one. But my lust for that taste was so strong, I couldn’t quit.

Then came that defining moment in April 1999. We were visiting Tirupathi with our five months old daughter and with my in-laws. I was carrying our daughter most of the times since she was a little too heavy for the others! She was 10.5kg at 5 months !

In the Padmavathi Temple, with a big crowd pushing and pulling us all over the place, we had to exchange hands to carry her in turns. During one such exchange, the baby’s head hit against the wooden door frame and the baby went blue and breathless. She wasn’t breathing and wasn’t crying either.

That was an absolutely desperate moment for all of us. At that moment I was praying to all those Gods whose existence I have always questioned. I was praying for the safety of my little one. And I made a resolution at that moment “Oh God, save my baby and I shall never ever eat non-vegetarian stuff again”. I have remained a diehard and born-again vegetarian since then and it is a decade now!

Now I go back to 1991. In our Medical College Hostel in Bellary, we had many blocks for boys. We had as many messes. Most of them were mixed messes that catered non-vegetarian food on select days.

We also had an exclusive Vegetarian mess in our block. There were a handful of vegetarians. Others were forced to eat vegetarian food due to the rules of the mess. I was one of those members who fought and succeeded in changing the mess into a non-vegetarian mess.

We were euphoric on the day when chicken was served for the first time in the mess. We also had an exhilaratingly satisfying feeling after having vanquished those bloody vegetarians! What right did they have to force us to eat grass? We quoted Ivan Lendle “Grass is for cows and we are not cows!”

Life has indeed come a full circle for me since then. Eighteen years is a long long time and today, I am at the receiving end. Perhaps, it is the curse of those poor little vegetarians that forced us to starve for want of availability of vegetarian food on that dreadful train journey. But will I ever change? No, I am a vegetarian by conviction today and will remain one, come rain or shine!

A Master Piece ?

Jack of all trades but Master of none !

So many times since childhood I have heard the cliched saying, “Jack of all trades but Master of none!” I have wondered about it as many times too. The first such a person I remember was a cycle repairer in my own little town of Karkala. He was very popular for his helpful nature.

He could repair quite a lot of things apart from bicycles. He sometimes caught snakes. He had his reward too in the form of a photograph printed on the front page of the local newspaper along with the reptile. He was the first one to arrive with help and moral support whenever someone died in our town. And he stayed till all the members of the bereaved family had taken some food after the funeral.

He played Chess with his friends when he had no work and even when he had work. He ran errands for the older ladies in return for a coffee. Yes, a strong filter coffee with jaggery as sweetener. The coffee was not his wages but was just a way of saying “I belong to you!” And for all his kindness, he was called “Maryaada Raman” after the mythical character.

As I grew up, I realized there are so many of these people among us. The Jacks were there all over the place. But today when I have seen a lot more of this world, I realize it is the other way around. The Jacks are not there all over the place. The truth is, there is a Jack in all of us; every one of us. Howsoever hard we try, becoming a Master isn’t an easy task.

I see a Jack every day, everywhere and in fact every time I look into the mirror. I am not Mastered anything in life. But I believe I can manage so many things in day to day life. Hence I qualify to be a Jack. I can fix most of the problems with my PC and internet connection. I have also repaired my father’s LED lamp, a three-fold umbrella and the number lock of my wife’s suitcase successfully. When a plumber failed to turn up to fix a tap in our home, I fixed it myself and saved rupees 350 for my wife. I have corrected most of the snags with my wife’s mobile phone.

I also have learned to fix the Treadmill Stress Testing system and Holter monitoring system at our hospital. I helped with the project work of my daughter and could see that was a decent job. I have even prepared coffee and made fresh lime soda for guests. Once I was honored to be the Chief Guest for a function at my daughter’s school. I managed to give a speech in Malayalam and even that came off okay. Actually by the age of forty, everyone has become a Jack, you like it or not.

Why do I consider myself a Jack ? Let me start from childhood. I was reasonably okay with studies, but was never the real topper in my class at any time. I played Cricket, Football, Badminton, Kabaddi, Volleyball and almost all the games that were played by the boys and girls of my age in those days. Though people told I was fairly good, I never really won anything.

I once ran a hundred meters race and came fourth out of the six that started. I tried my hand at painting and won too. A consolation prize! Every single participant won it. I participated in elocution, extempore speaking and singing and won a second prize for singing. Yes second prize !

As I moved to high school, I was more interested in Cricket and thought I could become a great all-rounder. I really believed, I could bat like Sunil Gavaskar and bowl like Shivaramakrishnan. But all my skills somehow were limited to my backyard where I could spin the ball miles and was never beaten or bowled by any ball. However during the matches; the pitch, the weather, the planetary positions, the umpires, the coconut tree just inside the long on boundary and practically every force on earth conspired against me and I came up cropper most of the times.

Then I moved to college. During PUC, I really started realizing my skills were extremely ordinary when it came to sports, games or any extra-curricular activities. So I concentrated on studies. Because, otherwise I would have ended up repairing bicycles like my father and I didn’t like that idea one bit. Thankfully I got through the entrance and ended up in Medical College Bellary.

Once in the Medical College, I was away from home and started to see the world. I learned a hell of a lot from the hostel life. During the ragging days, I learned to act and also to sing. Act sick to escape ragging. It did help to scare the daylights out of a senior who dared to rag me. I sang and won the second prize more than once, but never the first !

I learned the fact that you can’t live on past laurels. The marks I got in PUC or the rank I got in entrance were absolutely useless. I had to slog as hard as the other students to hold my forte. There were a lot of bitter lessons. But I am a zillion times better today thanks to those lessons.

I even learned to eat brinjal thanks to the hostel life. I started to appreciate my mother’s cooking only after I ate all the stuff dished out by the cooks in our mess. I have no doubt about one thing though. The Hostel Mess was very aptly called “Mess”. You couldn’t think of any other name. What a holy mess it used to be !

During the growing up period, I also grew up as a Critic, Writer and Satirist. I could see fun in the most grievous matter and sarcasm in Holy Scriptures. I could shred into pieces any piece of writing or an art. Movies were my favorite. I once commented about a movie, “This movie is absolutely useless till the interval…” When people asked, What about the post interval ? I told, “Well, it only gets worse from there !” This kind of sarcasm made me an armchair critic. Guys and girls often took my opinion on movies before they went to watch them.

I also wrote articles on our wall-journal. Once I criticized the tendency of Kannadigas to wake up on first of November every year to show their love for the language and then promptly go back to sleep for the next 364 days. This received a lot of support and an equal amount of flak. But I realized I could write. Because what is a write up if it doesn’t create some action and reaction ? One should know the fact. If what you write doesn’t evoke reactions, the writing is on the wall !

I completed my Medical Graduation and came down to Kochi, Kerala in 1995 and settled down here. I have seen life here for nearly fifteen years now. The people here are lot more politically inclined and are almost entirely polarized behind one of the two fronts.

There is an irony in Kerala politics. There are two Democratic Fronts, United and Left. But both of them have managed to pull the state “Back” in terms of overall development and infrastructure advancement. When I talk about this to the natives, they prefer to talk about secularism, Ishrat Jehan, exploitation of working class and the rights of citizens. The leftward of them also point out the Chief-minister’s daring act of demolishing buildings in Kochi, Munnar and other places.

I started to write to “Letters to the Editor” column in the Indian Express. Some of my letters were published and some were dumped into the waste basket. Even those published were heavily edited. Their job was to edit and they were doing a fine job of it. In one of the letters that was published, not one word was changed by the Editor. That was the first word, Sir! All else was his own, but the name was mine. What I thought were real issues didn’t appeal to the Editors and I understood another truth. Even as a Critic, I was just a Jack !

And finally to conclude what has been a really long post, even in my chosen profession of being a Doctor, I have remained a Jack. I never got a chance pursue Post-Graduation. So I don’t have a Masters Degree and have remained a Bachelor of Medicine. Today I am working as an Intensivist cum General Practitioner; and am a Jack of almost all trades in Medicine, but not a Master of any. So this is one real Jack for a lifetime !

So can I call this post as my Master Piece ?

No, I will settle for a Jack Piece !


Dr. Pun-dit