Wah Mumtaz !

Facebook and Twitter have over the past two years, gradually weaned me off Blogger and kept me away from it for one whole year.. But honestly, I am never made for the 140 characters mad scramble and have always relished the elaborate expression of Blogging. What happened yesterday made me yearn to come back and Blog because that made me feel good, actually feel better. Well, not really, this must be the best I have felt in a long long time.

Mumtaz: The incredible Anseema's magnificent Mother !

Image borrowed from the WWW

My Sunday morning Clinic for me, is not only a means to pocket a few Dollars more. It often enriches me thanks to some relaxed and laid back interactions with my clients. It was one such afternoon yesterday. Anseema, a twenty year old final degree Commerce student was my last client for the day. She was told by some Homeopath that she had some heart disease. Both the girl and her mother looked extremely anxious. Only problem I could detect in her was she was ridiculously small for date at just a few milligrams over 30 kilos.

After a thorough examination, I leaned back on my chair and told the mother and daughter, "See, this girl has absolutely no heart problem. I understand she has never been hospitalized for any illness to-date. If anyone has to find any problem with her, it has to be her weight. Even that should not matter for you people. But since your community insists on early marriages, she may need to gain about 10 kilos to be ready for marriage. No other problems...".

The girl cut me off at this stage and said, "No Sir, I will not marry now. Not at all. I want to study and find a good job for myself. I will not even think of marriage till then". At this point, I turned to her mother and told, "See, in your community, most of the girls are married off early. I know a very beautiful and intelligent girl whom I knew as a child and she was married off at the age of 16 and by 17, she had become a mother. I request you to stand by your child and educate her and do not think of marriage, at least till 23."

The mother looked serious, gave a deep sigh and said, "No Sir, not 23". My heart almost sank at this stage but I let her continue without interfering. She continued, "I want her to complete MBA and be a woman of her own. She will not marry before 27 and even after that, will marry when she wants to. I married early at 17 and I know how miserable it is. My child will not become another maid servant. She will live a life of dignity...!". The very affable and serene countenance of this young mother never betrayed the determination and steel within her. Absolutely stunning lady.

I got up from my chair and saluted this mother, Mumtaz of the modern era. I told her, "You have made my day and I congratulate you for your conviction, courage and boldness. Please stay on course and please do remember me if you people need any kind of assistance from me at any time. I would definitely love to be there on the day of Anseema's MBA graduation ceremony."

I shall never forget these two people, whom I underestimated when they walked into my consultation room. Both the beautiful women left my clinic with wonderful smiles on their faces and a surreal lump in my throat. The world needs more and more people like Mumtaz and her Anseema.

PS: These names are real and I have taken their permission to mention them here because India needs to hear and know more about more such people. Whatever reach this post achieves should be a boost for the Girl-Child Education.



Dr. Punned-it

Tabla, Band and the Wife of Zakir Hussain !

I see in my clinic, many an young people claiming to be from West Bengal [Waste Bengal in their language], whose names sound very much like those Bangladesh Cricketers. Zainul Abedin, Mushfiqul Rahim, Shafiul Islam are among those hundreds working in the construction sites as cheap labor.

They live in extremely inhabitable ghettos surrounding the construction sites. It's extremely difficult to assess their actual motives but we have to treat them when they come with health problems. They seem to come to me because of my comfort with Hindi, which is the only language they can manage other than Bengali. This post isn't about the suspected Bangladeshi immigrants. This is about a stand out character I see very often.

Many other construction workers from Bihar and UP too come to my clinic. But they mostly come in groups and are always seen moving in groups. This is a 21 year old boyish looking chap hailing from a small town in Bihar and is the only one among them, who comes alone to consult me.

This is an incredibly funny character. I first saw him about 10 months ago. He had come with a complaint of stomachache. Translating our Hindi dialogues to English is a tough job. But let me try that. I have seen him many times since he first came to me about 10 months ago. I am chronicling only the important encounters here.

Encounter - 1:

Looking tense, anxious and forlorn, this handsome boy walks into my clinic and asks, "Doctor Saab, Hindi maloom ?" [Doctor, know Hindi ?] I replied, "Nahin".

He looked dejected but said, "Lekin idhar sab bolte hain ki aapko maloom hai" [But people here say, you know Hindi]

I replied with a smile, "Chalo yaar aapke liye Hindi bhi bol denge !" [OK, will speak in Hindi for you]

His face lit up and he said, "Bach gaya. Kya Doctor saab, daraa diya. Idhar koi Hindi bolta nahin, ulta humen daraate hain ki Malayalam seekho. Malayalam naam theekse bol nahin sakte hum" [I'm saved, What Doctor, you scared me. Nobody speaks Hindi here and they want us to learn Malayalam. I can't even pronounce the word Malayalam properly]

He introduced himself as Zakir Hussain from a small village in Bihar. He is one of the seven kids of his father from two wives. Being the oldest, he had to fend for his family. He flunked in class 7 and did odd jobs in his native place for five years before he was sent here by one of his uncles for a better pay.

I asked him jovially, "Kitne bachche hain ?" [How many kids ?]. He replied "Saat" [7]. I asked, "Bees saal aur saat bachche ?" [Twenty years and 7 kids ?].

He looked embarrassed and shot back, "Kya Doctor saab, humaara nahin. Abbu ke saat bachche hain. Apni toh nikah bhi nahin huyi" [What Doctor saab ? My Dad has 7 kids. I am not even married].

I laughed and asked again, "Ikkees saal aur abhi tak shaadi nahin huyi. Kyaa yaar kab karoge shaadi ?" [21 years and not yet married. When are you going to get married ?]

He smiled back and said, "Shaadi toh karni hai. Lekin uske liye paise chahiye. Mai apni biwi ko achchi tarah rakhna chahta hoon. Paise kamaane ke liye idhar aaya hoon" [I have to marry. But I need money for that. I want to look after my wife well. I'm here to earn money for that]

So I proceeded to examine him and prescribed him some medicines for acidity and advised not to eat spicy food. He said with a very humble tone, "Doctor saab, kisee bhi tarah aap mujhe theek kar-deejiye. Nahin toh dawaayi khaate khaate mere poore paise kharch hojaayenge. Mai kabhi nikah nahin karpaaoonga" [Doctor, somehow make me better. Otherwise all my money will be spent on medicines and I'll never be able to marry]. I asked him to follow up after 2 weeks.

Encounter - 2:

He came 2 months later with same problem and complained, "Doctor saab, mai barbaad hogaya. Mera pet poora kharaab hai. Mai mar jaaoonga. Kuch toh karo aur mujhe bachaado. Mai kunwaara nahin marna chahta" [Doctor saab, I am ruined. My tummy has gone bad. I'll die. Do something and save me. I don't want to die a bachelor].

I jokingly asked, "Shaadi ke turant baad marna theek hai kya ?" [Is it OK if you die soon after marriage ?]

He: Kya Doctor saab aap bhi, Kuch bhi bolte hain ? Phir meri biwi ko kaun dekhega ? [What Doctor saab, you can tell anything ? Who'll look after my wife ?]

Me: Agar shaadi se pehele itna pyaar biwi se hai toh apni sehad ko theek se sambhaalo. Maine pichli baar do hafte baad aane ko kahaa tha na ? Kyun nahin aaya ? [If you have so much of love for wife even before marriage, you should take care of your health. Why did you not came after 2 weeks as I'd advised ?]

He: Galti hogayi Doctor saab. Iss baar maaf kardo. Ab mai sab theek se karoonga. Mujhe bachaado. Meri toh shaadi bhi nahin huyi ! [I'm sorry Doctor saab, it was a mistake. Now I'll do everything right. save me please, I am not even married !]

I prescribed him medicines again and told him that he had something like an Ulcer [because he didn't understand acidity] and needed medication on long term to prevent it. I also asked him to eat light. He replied, "Kya light khaana Doctor saab ? Idhar sirf do cheez banti hai, Sambaar aur chaawal. Ab iss-se light kya khaayen ? Hawaa ?" [What light food Doctor saab ? Here only rice and sambaar is available. What lighter can we eat ? Air ?]

I assured him that rice and sambar was good for him and asked him to review after a month.

Encounter - 3:

He came as I was on my way home from the clinic and looked flustered. He was desperate and wanted to see me. But I could see he was not in serious trouble and asked him to come next day. He agreed and came next day. He said, "Doctor saab, meri toh shaadi bhi nahin huyi. Maine kisee aurat ke saath koi chakkar bhi nahin kiya. Phir bhi mere saath aisa kyun hua ?" [Doctor saab, I am not married and I never did anything with any woman. Then why did this happen to me ?]

He was on the verge of breaking down and I consoled him and proceeded to examine him. All he had was fungal infection in the groin and he thought it was a serious sexually transmitted disease. I reassured him that it had nothing to do with women and was just a matter of hygiene and sent him with a prescription.

He left with a happy smile, "Thanks Doctor saab, mai toh socha ki barbaad hogaya. Humaara bachcha toh hoga nah ?" [Thanks Doctor saab. I thought I am ruined. I will kids no ?]. I said, "Ek nahin saat - aath agar tum chaho toh" [Not one but 7 -8 if you want]. He winked and replied, "Nahin Doctor saab, meri biwi pareshaan hogi. Hume sirf do kaafi hai" [No Doctor saab, my wife will be troubled. We'll have only 2]. So much love for a wife who is not even in imagination.

Encounter - 4:

The most wonderful thing about this youngster is his affable nature and ever smiling face. Remembering his famous namesake, I asked him, "Aap Tabla bajaate hain kya ?" [Do you play Tabla ?]

He retorted immediately, "Kya Doctor saab aap bhi. Yahaan beri band baj rahi hai aur aap Tabla bajaane ki baat karte hain !" [What Doctor saab ? Here I'm in trouble and you're talking of tabla]

He had loose motions since 3 days and was really troubled because I was away for 3 days. He didn't want to see any other Doctor and came every evening to my clinic when I was away. I prescribed medicines and he was better within a day. Any Doctor would've done that but try telling him that and he would quip, "Aisa nahin. Mujhe sirf aap hi theek kar sakte hain. Aur koi dawaa liya toh mera toh sach me band bajega" [Not like that. Only you can make me better. If I take any other medicine, my band will be truly played].

Encounter - 5:

His latest visit was last night. He had come with a scrotal swelling suggestive of Hydrocele. He looked disgusted with himself, "Itnee cjhoti umr me itnee saari bimaari. Mai toh ek mareez bangaya hoon. Doctor saab kuch bhi karke mujhe phirse theek karo. Iss-se achcha marajaana hai" [Such young age and so many illnesses. I have become a serious patient. Doctor saab, do something and make me better. It's better to die than this]

I consoled him saying, "There are many kids in the world suffering from diseases like Cancer and Diabetes, who learn to live with them and even conquer the illness. Your illnesses are basically nothing. All curable and simple ones. You are lucky to be born so handsome and pretty healthy. You will be perfect by the time you are ready to marry"

He looked extremely happy. His eyes were welling up when he said, "Aapko pata hai Doctor saab ? Mujhe har mahine 10 hazaar milte hain. teen hazaar toh idhar kharch ho jaata hai. Paanch hazaar mai ghar bhejta hoon aur do hazaar sambhalke rakhta hoon. Mai achchi tarah jeena chahta hoon. Mai koi galat kaam nahin karta aur sochta tha ki kyun mujhe hi aise bhayaanak bimaariyaan aati hai ! Lekin aapne mera dil halka kar diya. Mai zindaa rahoonga nah ?" [Do you know Doctor saab ? I earn 10000 per month. I send 5000 to home. 3000 is spent for myself here and I save 2000. I want to live well. I don't have any bad habits and used to think why I was getting such horrible diseases. Now I am relieved. I will manage to live, right ?"

It was a lump in the throat situation for me. Here is a jovial young chap with dreams of a beautiful life with a beautiful wife who is just an imagination. And he was getting emotional for once. I reassured him, "Tum sirf bachche nahin, bachchonke bachche bhi dekh sakoge. Koi fikr mat karo. Hamesha khush raho" [Not only kids, you'll even see the kids of your kids. Be happy always"

He parted with a statement, "Mera iss gaon me koi dost nahin. Baat karneko bhi koi milta nahin. Sirf ek aap mere liye, dost, bada bhai, Doctor saab aur himmat sab aap hai ! Jab bhi meri nikah hogi, meri biwi aur baadme mere bachche, sabko mai aapke baare me bolunga. Sab aapko yaad rakhenge !" [I have nobody in this place. You are my only friend, big brother, Doctor and my support. Whenever I get married, I will tell my wife and my kids about you and all of us will remember you !"

Touched !



Dr. Punned-it

Now who's Camilla ? My Thai Hi !

I did my little bit of research on Thailand before I boarded the Thai Economy flight on 7 April. Since it was a midnight flight, I hardly remember anything from the journey except for the cute and traditionally dressed Air-hostesses asking, "Vegettaariaan ?". Once I overcame the sleep deprivation, it was usual me; observe and find out about the place, the people and their practices. And here is what I felt about Thailand and the people.

The Thai people must be the most pleasant on the earth. They are almost always smiling, laughing or guffawing when they are not giggling. I believe this is a national trait with very few exceptions.

The Typical Thai People !

Thailand was previously known as Siam and they still treasure that name. It has over come a lot of mutinies, military rulers, corruption and several changes in the constitution. Yet the people generally remain happy. They have a definite discipline in day to day life that we Indians lack as a rule. Look at this Bangkok road where the busy road has an entire left lane free. I don't know how many Indian cities can boast of such a trait.

Free Left in the "Land of the Free"

Thailand ranks 54th out of 56 Asian nations when it comes to proficiency in English and this doesn't seem to bother them. You tell them about their poor English and they'll giggle and thank you with a "Kop kuun haa".

You walk into a 7-Eleven store and talk in English and the predominantly young crowd look at you and smile apologetically. Then they start to giggle and exchange words between themselves in their nasal twang. When you persist with English, they'll give you a pity-filled look for your ignorance of their beautiful language. And finally, they share a hearty laugh and their Thai customers join them in that. As a last resort, they'll resort to explaining to you in Thai language and you have no other option but to take whatever you want and leave without asking for anything more than what you can find there.

Thai mobile networks are very nice. They'll give the tourist a free SIM-card on arrival and then keep sending them messages in unadulterated Thai language.

The people here are so nice, they'll be smiling their broadest smiles even when they are busy swindling you !

Thai massage, foot massage, head massage and all those massages are a must when you are in this land. They are definitely calming and relaxing.

I am inclined to believe the name Thailand is actually a local variant of Thigh-land. In 9 days, I have seen more thighs than I have seen in 43 years of my life in India. 90% of Thai women are seen in shorts and short skirts and this is perfectly fine with this culture. To be honest, even ultra-short shorts can be too much in the heat out there.

"Sawatdee haa" is the Thai way of wishing "Namaste". It is believed to have originated from the Sanskrit word "Swasti" meaning 'blessing'. Thai people believe in their culture and language having origins in India and Sanskrit and are proud of it.

One of the ladies at the Thai massage center thought my daughter was my wife. She was obviously gossiping about the mismatch in our age. But later as an after-thought, she and asked me, "Wife ? Girlfriend ?". I replied, "Daughter". She apologized, "Oooooooooh dothaal. Sollyyyyyyyyyy. Oooooooooooooooh" !

I was there as guardian for my daughter who was shooting for her Tamil movie. We were helped there in the entire process by Indo-Bangkok films, a company owned by an Indian Punjabi called Bob. They own travel-agencies, chain of Indian hotels, restaurants and they also provide logistics and man-power for visiting Indian cine-units.

Indian Restaurant in Pattaya

Population of Thailand is 94% Buddhist with less than 5% Muslims and 1% Christians. There are very few Hindus and Sikhs. Our Indo-Bangkok Films is owned by a Sikh Bob Singh. There is another Sikh we met in Bangkok. That was Jyot, who speaks excellent Telugu due to his growing up in Vizag. He helped me to gain some kind of insight into this country. But the paradox about this country is that this predominantly Buddhist country has an omnivorous population. They eat everything under the Sun and under the sea and believe seaweeds are good for the skin !

One of our local managers was Lucky. We never got to know her original name. She was jovial, grumpy, angry and helping all in one. She was once married to a Pakistani. After the marriage ended, she developed a special liking for Indians, it seems. Her incessant smoking reminded me of the brick kilns I used to watch on the Mangalore - Udupi highway during my childhood.

Our second Thai contact was in fact the best. She was Rumrada, nicknamed Red. She is a happily plump 28 year old girl always sporting a smile and a pair of shorts with tees. She was the most proficient in English and that is why I managed to gather quite a lot of information from her. She is a Muslim. She hates marriage but loves an Indian Assistant Film Director. Her parents have given her complete freedom to manage her life and she doesn't smoke or drink. But she was totally amazed and horrified when she heard that normal Muslim girls in this part of the world can't wear shorts and can't be walking so freely like she did.

Red hates the idea of anyone dictating terms to her. This is a Thai trait. This is the most liberal of all South Asian nations. In fact they also pride themselves as "Tai" or the "Land of the Free" because Thailand was the only south Asian country never to have been colonized by a European power. Thailand also is the most liberal when it comes to LGTB rights and we can see a large number of them living with very little or no discrimination. Two of the make-up artists on our unit were from this group and they were completely natural and comfortable and were treated with no difference. Also, they smoke like anyone else.

Everyone smokes, no discrimination !

Thai people smoke in alarmingly high proportions. I could see men, women and LGTB smoking almost all the time. But I think their happy nature gives them some kind of protection against heart diseases because they have far lesser incidence of Ischemic Heart Disease compared to Indians. May be it is largely due to genetics but I do think the intrinsic happiness does play a role.

Coming to the last part of my story, I heard lucky yell at someone, "Ajay wants to see Camilla". I was surprised about this new character on the unit and was eager to see her too. So I asked her, "Now who's Camilla ?". Lucky gave me a dirty look and pointed towards the camera !

English - Thainglish !

Thai people hate the 'R' and happily leplace it with an additional "L" whenevel and whelevel possible. They have Thulsday, Flyday and Satulday to end the week. They offel you Zelo Calolies Coke and Biliyani. They smoke as if thele is no tomollooooooooo. Even Red [Led], who's pretty good with English talks like this to hel own people, "They leave tomollooo. We have to get the passpolts and allange fol duty-flee shopping in the ailpolt" !


Dr. Punned-it

Mukundan Swami and his Cricket Language !

He keeps popping up in my life like the 'breaking news' messages on those 24-Hour news channels. He is Mukundan, fondly called "Mukunda Mukunda" or "Dashavatharam" or "Swami" by me and "Kuntham" by his friends as he himself confessed. He's a class nine student in a CBSE school and only son of his doting parents. He knows my daughter too is in class nine and he thinks that might help him. He prefers to converse in English with me because his mother wanted him to improve his English by talking to that Doctor who doesn't speak good Malayalam.

But he is very unlike the teenagers on the Facebook who brag about their hitherto invisible capabilities or who warn us about their attitude. He doesn't like the word 'Dude' being used to address a girl because his Mom told him that is used only for boys. He is a very modest boy with some serious issues with English language, Science and Mathematics.

He was brought to me about 4 years ago with some persistent wheezing problems and after initiating on Inhalers, he had completely recovered from the Asthma that used to plague him. He is fond of me because he believes I had helped him to do what he loved the most; play Cricket ! Cricket is the only thing worth talking about and Sachin Tendulkar is the only God for this 15 year old with a thin mustache threatening to make it's presence felt above his upper lips.

One day, he drops into my Clinic with a doubt, "Saar, egg eating help my muscle build ?". He is from a Tambram family that still remains vegetarian. But he was impressed by a a boy twisting Sachin's arm in an Egg ad on the TV and wanted to know if he could be stronger by eating eggs. His Mom was not averse to cooking eggs for him and I told him to go ahead. He is an Eggetarian now according to himself and says, "I'll never eat chicken. I don't like bones".

His propensity to use Cricket language for every conversation is what makes him endearing to me. When I asked him about the Summative assessment part-1, he replied, "Saar, Malayalam and Social like leg side full toss. I just hit six. English always yorker. Grammar like my Grandmother. I never understand both are very tough and strict. No this thing and no that thing. Like in-swing, out-swing bowling. Ho, life is waste Saare. Don't even ask Max [Maths]. It is all bouncer going top of head. I will go to Max exam with a helmet. My head goes round round seeing question paper. Science is just nonsense Saar. Like Rohit Sharma. Everybody hates but teachers always forcing to study Science. Believe me Saar, ninth standard boy life is very tough. You just can't imagine...". I replied, "Yes my Dear, that is why I chose medical graduation because ninth grade is so very tough !" He got the sarcasm for once and gave a sheepish grin and scooted off.

He is a simple boy who shares most of his happiness and sadness with me. When his mother refused to buy a mobile phone for him, he told me, "Father cool Saar. But mother noballed my mobile. Sometimes she like Steve Buckner Saar. Always against India wrong decision. I now only no mobile boy in my group. All teases me like Jadeja Saar. I feels like out of form dropped batsman Saar".

When he finally got his prized mobile phone, he waved it at me and declared, "Saar, Umpire finally give right decision. I cry, cry and cry and she brought this. Mother is Sehwag like Saar. When good mood, she hit 300 and not good mood, she hit zero. Today, I feels like Sachin Tendulkar 100th 100 Saar. Paavam Mukundan now head lift and walk with friends. Saar all features like blue tooth and all is there. Look like Virat Kohli no ? Stylish !"

"Saar, our neighbor one Paattiamma clean bowled today Saar. She was some sugar, pressure patient. 2 days some problem and today morning not get up only. What Saar, everybody crying and my mother also crying. She was nice, not my Hitler Paatti type. She was 92 Saar. Missed century by 8, very bad Saar. All people crying I thinks like India losted match against Pakistan Saar". This is how he reported the demise of a neighborhood lady.

"Saar, my final exams coming, please pray for me Saar" said Mukundan last week. He added, "I don't know what this CBSE peoples doing. Old kids enjoyed life till class 9. We have board exams even in 9th. You know Saar, it is like a 5 match one day series. First is Monday, Social. That is good. I read 1 paragraph, I write 3 page. It is good batting pitch. Then Wednesday Science Saar. That is most terrific. It is like playing in Perth, Dale Steyn balls. I really want to take helmet to Science and Max exam Saar. Friday is Malayalam. Malayalam in my house not speak, but I manage. After 3 day rest for horror Max next Monday. That is simbly reverse swing Saar. Always confusing. Wednesday English. Grammar Saar, believe me, grammar made by people hate children. Only to torture poor children. If I don't killed, I come see you Wednesday Saar. You know Saar, Sachin Tendulkar, the God failed exams because of Max Saar. Then what is my condition ? Anyway, please pray for me Saar !"

In an age where expecting innocence in boys aged 15 years is like expecting a spinner friendly track in South Africa, Mukundan is a delightful exception and I hope he manages to keep his innocence forever !



Dr. Punned-it

Thought for Food !

Nothing in this world enthuses me as much as food. I have declared it on Facebook and elaborated it on Blogger before. But this post is all about the "Thought for Food" !

I am so obsessed with food that I often end up wishing people, "Food morning" or "Food afternoon" or "Food evening" or "Food night". This reached to ridiculous levels when I typed, "Hearty wishes for Food Friday and Feaster" on the Friday before the Easter ! Some of my Christian friends were so offended by this, they Unfriended me ! It was not entirely my fault. The keyboard has 'F' next to 'G' and when I am hungry, I can make mistakes like any human being. It just is that I am hungry most of the times !

I very well understand how hunger can turn people into Naxalites. Just half an hour delay in lunch break can turn me into a terrorist. My being born in a Community that adores, worships and ritualizes food definitely has some role in my love for food. My father is a man who believes, "Every morning, we should Rice and Shine" and I don't disagree with him.

It isn't as if I am a huge eater. I have on an occasion, eaten 25 idlees about 2 hours before dinner. And on another occasion, I had polished off 3 packets of Maggie noodles while reading Fimfare. These are old stories. I am a frugal eater today. I have a strict control now and seldom over-eat. I always stop when I can't stuff any more !

My week goes like this. Chocolate Sundae, Gulab Jamoon-day,  Orange Juice day, Breadness day, Thirst day, Fried Rice day and Saturate day ! What about my work place ? When a nurse reports about a patient having severe itching, I asked her to administer injection Avial [Avil]. Talking of Lactate solution reminds me of Milk Chocolate.

I am a law abiding person and I respect the courts. Well, I in fact adore the courts; Food Courts, especially. Though I am a complete and hopeless teetotaler, I love the bars too. They serve some of the best starters in the world. The fried cashew nuts, pea nut masala, paneer pakodas and many such delicacies make it worth going to a bar with your friends who prefer the bar over the court !

I believe in the old adage, "Seven days of not eating well makes one weak". Though I admire Gandhi for many of his virtues, I could never agree with the view that "We should eat to live and not live to eat". Blasphemy is the word ! We are born with the largest sack in the body that is stomach and the largest organ in the body that is liver. Stomach has to be filled and only then can the liver work and promote digestion. This scientifically proves my long held belief that "We are born to eat; at least I am" !

I am a Great fan of good food. So much so, the word Great itself inspires me on. But how ? Very simple, GR stands for my initial and rest is Eat ! So it keeps egging me on... GR EAT, GR EAT ! Now people should never blame me for my obsession with food and eating. I was destined for GR-EAT-NESS !

I once won a bet with a girl as to who was taller; me or she. She had promised 'Anything' if I won the bet and I asked her to buy me breakfast for the whole of next month. All boys who came to know of the story considered this a complete and total disgrace ! I just couldn't fathom why they felt so. I went on to relish extraordinary range of breakfast and super coffee from Hotel Hoysala, Bellary all at her expense for the next 30 days.

What am I supposed to do if I am reminded of "Pai Dosa" while watching "Life of Pi" and the movie "Fiza" sent me to Pizza Hut soon after the show ? The name "Sholay" makes me yearn for "Choley Bature" and whenever I see Vivek Mushran, I would love to savor "Mushroom Pepper and Salt". And just imagine watching a movie with title credits like THIS. Impossible !

Title credits of a movie !

Even though I have grown to abhor religions, I love temples for two reasons. First is for the architecture and the second of course for those exotic eatables offered there in the form of "Prasad". Some of the "Payasams" are more famous than the temples and the deities. I have never known anyone talking about the god of Ambalappuzha, but the Ambalappuzha Paalpayasam is a legend !

Tirupathi laddu is more famous than the temple itself. A large number of people including me, go there only for the sake of the laddu ! If the laddu is made available in counters at reasonable cost, I and many like me would leave the God to rest in peace !

Laddu over God !

Well, it is almost midnight now and my last grub was at 8:00 PM. If I have to "Live, Love and Laugh"; I have to catch up with something to eat. So, let me scoot and see what is there in the fridge. Thankfully Wife and Mom are fast asleep and I should be fine very soon !

Food night everyone !



Dr. Punned-it

Have you ever been caught with your pants down ?

Have you ever been caught with your pants down ?

I have been !!!

I was working in a small hospital in a place called Ponkunnam between 1996 and 1998. Early days in Ponkunnam were hilarious but nothing could beat this !

I had an urgency to go to the toilet when on a night-duty. I went to the Duty-Doctor's resting room. I latched the room from inside as I always did. Not wanting to get the bottoms of my pants wet, I removed my pants and shorts inside the room and kept them on the bed. As I was walking towards the bathroom, the bath room opened on me and there stood a cute little nurse in front of me.

Only saving grace for me was my tee-shirt was long enough to save my 'man-maryada' from being auctioned completely. The situation was like who was more flustered, the girl or me !

The situation worsened when she couldn't open the door because I had latched it so hard. Being on the shorter side, she was just not able to unlatch it ! Me with the tee-shirt pulled as down as possible was not even in a position to pull my pants and put them on. Neither could I open the door for her.

I did the best possible thing in the given circumstances. I ordered her right back into the bathroom and then got myself dressed and opened the door for her and let her out and then let out a sigh !

I never knew the Nurses used Doctor's resting room in that hospital. That wicked little thing kept giving me crooked smiles throughout my stay in Ponkunnam. But thankfully, she never went beyond that. She never told anyone else; perhaps !

Post Script: Ever since, I always check if there is someone in the bathroom before I even close the door behind me !


Dr. Punned-it

My Encounters with Freedom of Speech !

One of my most enduring fears has been of speeches; the long winded speeches. Right from the school days, I have suffered speeches and outlived them only because of my ability to switch off when I wanted to. On Independence day, on Republic day, on Annual Day, on Gandhi Jayanthi and then on any day when someone important kicked the bucket, we had buckets full of talk. And I used to wonder, "Are we born to suffer this ?"

One of the earliest speeches I remember was when I was in first standard. We didn't have kindergarten in those days and we were educated in vernacular medium. The Head Master made the presidential address on the Independence day and told us all about how India became Independent thanks to the freedom struggle and the sacrifices of Gandhiji and others. I realized then and there the meaning of "Freedom of Speech" ! 

Ever since I have heard the same speech from different people over the years in different places in different languages with only the number changing. It was 29th Independence day during the first speech and it was 66th when we celebrated in our hospital on 15 August 2012.

Not all of them were insufferable and some of them have been utterly hilarious, albeit unintentionally. There are many of those speeches and lectures I have already shared on this blog and on Facebook. I am not planning to repeat them like the Independence day speeches.

During one of the many functions 'celebrated' in our hospital, we had our Secretary making a 'grand' speech as was his wont. Talking about a senior Physician working with our hospital for over 25 years, he said, "Dr. P has been hardly working in our hospital for 28 years". I could see the smirk on the face of those who understood the gaffe. Knowing his not so warm equation with the Physician, some of them wondered, if he really meant what he said !

Thinking in own language and translating it to English can cause hilarious situations. Especially so when one has a limited command over English. A small part of a businessman's speech went like this: "We all today here added sitting to our President Sir's untimely death condemn. He was 88 years old but sudden died. I last week him saw and I think not look like dead. My hearty condoles to his  family, wife, childrens, grand childrens and all family members. He was a great man. He for many many people work doing. All workers his children like..."

An old story goes like this. Field Marshal Kariyappa was fond of speaking in Hindi but his command over the language was at best inadequate. He was once proceeding to address an Independence day gathering somewhere in Hindi heartland. He asked his Hindi speaking friend, "What is the word you use for Free in Hindi ?". Without realizing the context, the friend said, "Muft". And lo, the General's [at that time] speech went thus, "Gandhiji aur Nehruji ke tyaag ke kaaran aaj hum sab MUFT ho gaye" !

I too have given some speeches. Though I too have "Freedom of Speech", I was forced to exercise it on most occasions. My first speech was while I was in seventh standard. It was for the Republic day celebrations at school. Even in those days, I always believed mugging up was a girly thing and hated preparing written speeches and delivering them and always depended on extempore speaking. It seldom won me prizes or awards but I never changed and remain the same clumsy and unorganized speaker to date.

A few years ago, our hospital all of a sudden decided to celebrate New Year and a circular was sent to all Doctors and staff to attend the function. The problem is all the Management people belong to the business class. They arrange functions late in the evening and enjoy celebrating their "Freedom of speech" at our cost. This is a form of recreation and thrill for them. But for those who live every day of their life in the hospital, we just want to get out of the place once the duty hours are over. 

We had a long session with everyone lecturing us about how we should work to take the fame of the hospital to another level in the new year. Finally some people wanted 'me' to talk too. Over two hours past my regular time, I was tired, hungry and seething. I really needed to punch !

I went on stage and said, "Honestly I feel nothing changed from yesterday to today except the calender. We are the same old people one day older; some wise and some otherwise. Off late, I believe we are having a lot of new celebrations, which were not even heard of a few years ago. All these are a fad promoted by gifts and cards manufacturers and nothing more than that. I sincerely hope we will not be celebrating Valentine's day next month. I would rather continue to work than waste time on more and more such functions. But anyway, since I have to say this, Happy New Year to everyone. Thanks !". Nobody ever has invited me to talk !

But that was an inside matter of our hospital. People outside didn't know my dislike for speeches. One organization invited me as a chief guest for a function because they thought I must be a popular figure. They perhaps arrived at this conclusion by looking at my friends list on Facebook. Once there, I told the organizers, "Don't even bother to invite me to speak. I will inaugurate the function and then will sit in a corner". 

I lit the lamp with the other guests and took a corner seat on the dais. All went on fine till the 'dignitaries on the dais' took over with the hammering business. It was a marathon 155 minutes before the half a dozen wise men finished. It was almost 1:45 PM and I was almost fainting. Then someone announced in Malayalam, "Now we invite today's Chief guest Dr. Govind Raj Shenoy to come and and say two words. He doesn't like to talk much but we sincerely request Dr. Shenoy to say just two words".

I had no choice now. I almost swaggered to the mike and stood before the crowd of mostly young, bored, tired, hungry and angry people. I could see the horror on their faces as I adjusted the mike to my height because my predecessor was almost 7 feet tall. 

And then I said those 'two words': "ഊണ് കഴിക്കാം" which means "Let's Eat" [Lunch] and walked back to my seat. I have no idea how the organizers must have felt but I could hear the entire crowd burst out in laughter and applause. That to date is the greatest applause I have received !

Dr. Punned-it

Happy Independence Day ?

India is celebrating one more Independence day buoyed up by the best ever medal haul at the just concluded London Olympics. Facebook, Twitter and all  other social networking sites are full of Independence day. Even the Google has acknowledged the importance of 15 August.

But what are we celebrating ? Let us look at the situation prevailing.

‎15 August: Most of us remember India's National Song "Vande Maataram" on this "One Day Maatram" !

People are busy exhorting countrymen and women to "Be Indian and buy Indian" from their Chinese made smartphones or American made iPhones.

There is a drought-like situation in 3/4 of the country and the other quarter is flooded. Most states are already suffering severe shortage of water and electricity.

A large part of India was powerless for over 8 hours and the Power Minister gets promoted to Home portfolio.

Our Prime Minister doesn't open his mouth and the Cricket Chief of Selectors can't shut his.

Our loved and celebrated musicians and doyens of Cinema are in a hurry taking off heavenwards and the Netas appear to be immortal.

One man is obsessed with Jan Lokpal and entire youth is busy with Poke-pal on Facebook.

Price rice is not an issue anymore. Indians seem to have resigned to their fate. We are happy to trust in Karma and carry on.

Our Politicians are busy making money and keeping people divided. Social activitists and Yoga Gurus are busy fasting and soft-pedaling their Political ambitions. 

Our Cricket players are busy playing either IPL or Sri Lanka and Tennis Superstars are busy fighting each other.

There is an overdrive of patriotism on display everywhere in public and on television and then the people evade taxes by hook or crook.

Then what are we celebrating ? Do we have anything to celebrate at all ?

What are we Celebrating ?

Well, Salman Khan has released yet another movie that will break 100 Crore barrier mark within second weekend, even though he might end up in a jail for a wildlife law violation committed in the previous millennium.

Sachin Tendulkar scored his 100th century. So what if India couldn't make it to Asia Cup Finals ? We have the record, right ?

People are buying luxury cars and decking up their brides with tonnes of gold. So what if we couldn't win a single yellow metal at London. We are happy with what we have and can always blame our Politicians for everything that is wrong. We actually develop amnesia and become oblivious to the fact that it is we who elect these 'Leaders' by voting or not voting.

What if the common man can't afford a square meal ? He can now talk on mobile phones of fancied shapes thanks to "Har Haath Me Mobile" scheme. 

38% of Doctors and 34% Engineers in America are Indians. It makes no difference to us that we don't have Doctors in our Primary Health Centers and Engineers are actually enriching foreign countries and hoping the rupee falls further down because their hard earned Dollar becomes more precious in India.

Indian origin Sunita Williams unfurled Indian flag in space. No issues she was sent there by USA.

Sherylyn Chopra brought laurels to India by becoming the first Indian to feature on the "Playboy". She also made a solemn declaration that she didn't sleep with the Playboy boss.

So much happening for the country and hence there should be no need for gloom to loom. So let us cheer up and say cheers and open the cork. Let the spirit flow !

Let's Celebrate our Freedom and Independence !

Dr. Punned-it

Didi's Revolution: Questionless Utopia in Bengal !

After banning cartoons and arresting a cartoonist, asking questions too has become an offense in West Bengal now. Anyone who raises a question can be arrested and can be branded Maoist and put behind the bars. The 'Unquestionable' Supremo of Bengal, Didi has shown "Red Card" to Questions !

People are outraged and many outside the state are protesting. So what are the consequences ? After what happened in Mamta Banerjee's fiefdom West Bengal on 8 August 2012, the kids of Bengal are the happiest lot. How and Why ? Read on...

Didi's next steps ought to be...

1] Ban Mahabharat:  There is a nosy "Yaksha" asking too many questions to Yudhistira in this book. That is not acceptable. So this epic must be banned or the chapter "Yaksha Prashna" must be censored out. The Ministry of Home affairs has sent a notice to the author Veda Vyasa to act immediately on this matter of face the music.

2] Ban on Interviews: There will be no interviews in any schools, offices, campus selections and on news channels. They involve asking questions and this sinister activity can't be allowed to happen in Didi's land.

3] Ban on KBC and all it's versions: Bachchan's "Kaun Banega Crorepati" will not be aired in West Bengal because Big B is always asking questions and that is not acceptable. All vernacular versions and other reality shows involving the questionable act of asking questions stand banned indefinitely.

4] No Question Hour: There henceforth will be no "Question Hour" in the West Bengal assembly. That hour will be devoted to finding out who all are Maoists and thus anti-people.

5] Ban on appealing: Bowlers henceforth can't appeal for the wicket of a batsman in Cricket matches to be played in Bengal, especially Eden Gardens. The Third Umpire referral too stands banned. The Umpire can at his own discretion, declare a batsman out. But Billy Bowden will not be allowed to Umpire in Bengal because when he raises the crooked finger, it looks like a "Question Mark" and that is blasphemous.

Question Mark over Bowden's Action !

6] Court Proceedings to change: No questions will be allowed in Courts in Bengal. Both side lawyers can present their facts before the judge and then the witnesses will be allowed to depose before the court what they know. But questions will not be entertained.

7] '?' Button to be removed: All keyboards in Bengal will have the '?' button removed. An alternative has to be arranged for the '/' button and the matter is under discussion.

But why should kids be happy with all this ? Sorry for the question, but I am writing this sitting safely in God's Own Country. So here is the answer...

8] Say NO to Exams: There will be no more examinations in Bengal. Exams involve questions and question papers. Since that is unlawful, the state education board has suspended exams with immediate effect. Henceforth children will have to just go and sign on the registry. They will be handed over "Answer Papers".  All they have to do is to write "I am not a Maoist" on the answer paper and sign it or leave thumb imprint on the paper.

They can write whatever they want as long as they don't ask questions. The results of the exams will be decided by the level of Maoism in the writings. Lower the level of Maoism, higher the grades. Any kid whose writing betrays more than 30% Maoism will automatically fail.

Thus West Bengal will become the first place in the world where there will be no "Questions" but only answers. What a wonderful state for the kids, am I right or am I right ?

Oops, sorry for the question !





Dr. Punned-it

How "Har Haath Me Mobile" Scheme was born ?

A high level meeting in the Capital city of India in the first week of August 2012. Sonia Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi, Priyanka Gandhi, Robert Gandhi nee Vadra, Manmohan Singh, Chidambaram, Sharad Pawar, Mamta Banerjee, Digvijay Singh, Sushil Kumar Shinde and some more people have gathered in the plush air-conditioned hall. 

The subject: How to conquer 2014 and capture Power ? Here are the excerpts of the meeting. Since it was a long meeting, we bring you only the highlights.

Sonia Gandhi: We all know how my family has sacrificed for the sake of this country and how we continue to sacrifice for the people of this country. So we expect the "Aam aadmi" to understand what we are doing for them and then elect us again without having to be at the mercy of the left alliance. We want to continue with our sacrifices for the country.

A Meeting for the Aam Aadmi

Sushil Kumar Shinde: Yes Madam, we all know the importance of your family. Earlier it was India is Indira and Indira is India. Today it is Sonia is Sonia and Sonia is Sonia. That is why I am ready to kill if you order.

Robert Gandhi: We need people like you Shinde uncle. There are a lot of people who are talking badly about me, my family and my hard earned billions. They definitely need to be killed.

Chidambaram: But Robert Sirji, we can't afford to kill people now. We might lose votes. We are here to consolidate our vote banks.

Priyanka Gandhi: Robert, shut up for now. This is NOT about your family but MY family. Almost all of your family are either dead or have committed suicide. Understand ?

Rahul Gandhi: Like my sister's two families, there are two kind of families in India. Those who can afford to give me food in their huts and those who can't afford to feed me even one meal. We definitely need to do something about it but I don't know what it is.

What a shame, These people can't even feed Rahul Gandhi !

Sharad Pawar: We can solve that easily. We can hold IPL twice every year and with the revenue, we can sanction allowances to Rahul to carry his own food wherever he goes. It is dangerous to eat from those huts. We all know all their food is adulterated. So you better carry your own food and eat safely.

Mamta Banerjee: There are women who have to get down into deep wells and fetch water. The drought like situation has made life miserable for people. Vegetable prices are soaring and "Aam Aadmi" is struggling to make ends meet.

Water-less World !

Sharad Pawar: That is not such a big problem. We'll hold another India - Sri Lanka 7 match ODI series. We can utilize the money to import drinking water for the people. They can also drink the finely brewed wine from my vineyards.

Rahul Gandhi: We must have a reservation for minorities in the drinking water. We'll reserve 18% of the drinking water for minorities and nobody should be allowed to drink water during fasting hours of Ramzan.

Mamta Banerjee: But we don't have any water now to reserve...

Digvijay Singh: Water is there or not is not the question now. Since Rahul Baba has told, we MUST reserve 18% water for minorities. Rahul Baba MUST take lead role in the government.

Kapil Sibal: We also had this power problem...

Sharad Pawar: [Thumping the table] What was that ? I just wanted to be No. 2 in the government. You can't call that a problem. It is my birth right !

Chidambaram: Oh, Pawar-ji it was about power, I mean the northern grid failure and not about you. People demanded someone must be held accountable for the power failure.

Sonia Gandhi: Yes, I definitely said someone must be held responsible for that. People will ask questions. So I told Manmohan-ji to send the Power Minister to Home. He misunderstood and sent him to Home Ministry.

Sushil Kumar Shinde: Don't be so cruel Madam. I am a loyal soldier and servant of your family. I am at home in Home ministry. Maine aap ka namak khaaya hai !

Sonia Gandhi: [Whispers to Shinde]: I know Shinde-ji. That is why I did this. I just wanted MMS to be blamed if people ask questions !

Mamta Banerjee: We have been talking so long and so many things. But we haven't arrived at a consensus as to how will we capture 2014. How will we manage to face the "Aam Aadmi" during elections ?

Manmohan Singh [Opening his mouth for the first time]: May I say something Madam ?

Sonia Gandhi nods and says: Well, what is it ? We have no time. Robert has to go to gym and Priyanka has to go to the beauty parlor. And poor Rahul needs to catch up with his girlfriend. So tell it quickly...

Manmohan Singh: I have been Prime Minister for over 8 years now. But I have never known what is power. I have never even managed to open my mouth, leave alone talking. People keep ridiculing me about this. You all must realize how empowered I feel right now, when I am allowed to talk by Madam. So I think the only way to make people feel we have empowered them is by allowing them to talk. Instead of talking about our governance and policies, let them talk over the mobile phones instead. This will keep them busy sending missed calls between themselves. So how about giving mobile phones to the people below the poverty line ?

Everyone agreed in a chorus about this landmark and revolutionary idea. This is how the "Rajiv Gandhi Har Haath Me Mobile" scheme worth Rs. 7000 Crores was born. 






Dr. Punned-it

Buy Two Get Two Free : Confessions of a Bike-o-phobic !

I couldn't care much for what my wife thought of my firm "No" to her demand to buy a 'Scooty' for her. I just told her, "You are the only wife I have and I need you in one piece". She didn't like it one bit but had no choice. Knowing her fetish for freebies, I offered in return, "You are asking for a two-wheeler. I offer you a 100% extra on that and we'll buy a two-wheeler with four-wheels for you. Don't you think that is a better offer ? Buy two and get two free !"

"Very funny" she retorted, "Keep all four for yourself. I don't need that. I will continue to toil on those merciless buses". I made my next move of buying a Scooty with those additional small wheels. She blunted my offer with, "I am not asking for an auto rickshaw. I can manage as I am now. Don't bother".

Well, next morning I was not woken up but was rather jolted thanks to my 'sense of humor'. Let me confess, "I must be the 'only husband' on earth whose wife has a two-wheeler driving license but I don't". She has both car and two-wheeler driving license but can't drive or ride.

My dislike for the two-wheelers wasn't congenital, hereditary or anything like that. Very early in life, I was extremely fond of my Raleigh bicycle and used to be a terror on two wheels with my speed and unruly cycling. Once into teens, I too was enamored by the bikes of those days. The Ind-Suzuki Vishnuvardhan rode in the Kannada movie "Onde Guri" was a dream, not only for me but to most of the youth those days.

The Bike we were in awe of !

Fortunately or unfortunately, I couldn't afford bikes when I liked them. Today, when I can afford a few of them, I am pathologically scared of them. Some accidents in close circles are perhaps the main reason for my bike-phobia. It only worsened of late when two boys I've known for many years were lost forever due to bike accidents.

Classmate Sunitha Jain's Luna was the only two-wheeler I managed to ride during my college days. I was quite proficient with car driving when a cousin of mine suggested I 'must' learn bike-riding. Even though I had reservations, I agreed and went for my bike-riding lessons with him.

How did my dislike for bikes originate ? Very simple, the bikes come with a 'hand operated clutch' and what you press with your right foot is 'not' the accelerator. So when my cousin said, "Release the clutch slowly and give accelerator", I did what I do with my car. But the engine just died down with a whimper. My cousin said, "Not that, not that one, you have to turn the accelerator in your right hand.

So I released the clutch and turned on the accelerator. The damned thing began to dance like a rodeo bull because I was still pressing my right pedal inadvertently. Before we knew, both of us were on the ground with the bull, I mean the bike jamming both of us underneath in a messy tangle of legs, handle bar and hands. Luckily we weren't much hurt.

We pulled ourselves out of the tangle and mounted the bull again. This time I decided to be more meticulous and kept my right leg off the pedal and gradually did what I was supposed to do. Now it was a sudden take off and my cousin was down on his back and the bike was now celebrating his fall like a horse standing on his hind legs with the front wheel in the air and I was holding on dearly with both feet in the air. And then I was down again.

I understood one thing, this entity called bike had a mind of its own. In fact, it was not 'it'. It had to be 'Her' because only a 'she' is capable of such vindictiveness and tantrums. I was convinced about that. She had decided from the word go that, "I'm not going to allow this idiot to ride me at any cost". She knew I didn't like her at all. Though my cousin really loved her, he had to face her wrath because he did the unpardonable act of making a moron mount her.

My cousin recovered back to his feet and declared, "Govindu, you may be a Doctor but you are not up to it, when it comes to bikes. I don't want to test my luck a third time. So my advise is, you never ever try a bike again. You're simply good for nothing". Most people would have taken this as an insult or as a challenge and tried harder. But I loved my cousin too much and didn't want to risk his life for a third time and thus ended my tryst with bike-riding !

So why and how did my dislike and fear turn into hatred for two-wheelers ? Just look at the picture. It is self explanatory !

A world infested with bikes !

The bikes crisscross, overtake you from right, left and from any possible angle. They overtake from left and immediately cut to right before you. They jam both sides of the road when there is a queue. After doing all this, they park between two perfectly placed cars and then some of them on both sides so that not a single car will be able to budge from their position. Try moving those handle-bar locked monsters from the crevice between two cars and then people will realize why I hate bikes so much !

Most bikers park their nuisance machines wherever they feel like and leave without a bother about how much bother they are causing for others. Often if someone is standing with his legs apart in stand at ease posture, he might see bikes parked between the parted legs before he could realize. Often, we can see a bike parked strategically in a car park, eating into a space that could have easily hosted two cars.

The rudeness, rashness and brashness of the bike riders has to be experienced to be believed. Many a bikers believe 'helmet' is worn to avoid fines. Trying to overtake from a cleft on the left side is routine for the mean machines. If by chance they bump into your car, be ready to face choicest of abuses and even physical violence. The feeling of immortality associated with youth makes them behave thus and sometimes leading to doom.

One thing about these bikes is most of them run for 5 - 6 days with a table spoon of petrol. Like the remarkable cockroach, they can squeeze into any crevice, survive any traffic jam and can find a place to park inside a ladies handbag if necessary. Some youngsters are married to the bike and some even go to the loo on it.

Girls and two-wheelers is definitely a deadly combination. As it is, they have smaller frontal lobes in the brain and mostly have extremely ordinary driving skills. Give them the unpredictable little mischief makers and what we have is utter chaos on roads. The ladies scooter too has a mind of own. It never agrees with the rider and both of them always go their own way. Where it all ends depends upon the cosmic forces and of course the net result of the two opposite forces.

An average girl will be concerned about her jeans / salwar / saree, makeup, hair and of course mobile while riding a scooter. While boys have rear-view mirrors that adjust themselves in the direction of girls, a girl's rear-view mirror is built to make sure she won't miss seeing herself while riding.

But the best thing about a girl's two-wheeler is the indicator. Whatever we do, the indicator will show left when the girl turns right and right when she wants to go straight. So much so, some companies have initiated steps to install different set of indicators designed for girls. These smart indicators will start working only after the girl has made up her mind as to which way she wants to turn or if she wants to turn at all.

Well, I've wandered too far from my original plan of confessing about my bike-phobia. Let me be pardoned for that. I think I've confessed enough to last for a couple of weeks. So let me conclude by saying, "I don't hate bikes, the bikes hate me. I'm just scared of them like I'm scared of girls. I don't understand either of them. Not my fault !"

Dr. Punned-it

Moun Mohan Singh and some Political Blasphemy !

 Finding no concrete substance to blog about, I had concentrated on micro-blogging on Facebook. Then it struck me, I can as well compile those 'photos' on the Blog for keeping things in one place apart from my page "Live, Love & Laugh" on Facebook.

So here is the new experimental post with a compilation of some of my posts on our Prime Minister. Some people found it obnoxious, below the belt and crude. But some people found it funny. Anyway, without any malice towards the elderly statesman, I bring my posts on our Prime Minister here.

This is about modern day Gandhi'ji's monkeys. This evoked some strong reactions !

This one is about 2 Sardar-jis and then the women who control them !

This was a cute photoshopped one I borrowed from the www and added English words where the original work had Marathi words.

This was about the Italian tourists capture, inspired by an SMS.

Needs no description !

After the Petrol price hike !

Dr. Punned-it

Small things that make a BIG difference !

Aamir Khan's "Satyameva Jayate" has evoked sharp reactions from people. People are talking about social evils. Female infanticide has become a topic of heated debate on Facebook and other social media. Some admire Aamir for his concern and some say, he is doing all this for money. I don't know the truth.

I was too 'small' to understand why my late Grandfather insisted upon putting off the oil wick in our pooja room every night. Later as a grown up, I realized it was not miserly behavior but just a precaution by an extremely wise man who cared for his home and family. We had a lot of rats in our large ancestral home and they could have easily put the house on fire at night if we were to leave the wick burning.

When in high-school, we had a lesson, "A spark neglected, burns the house". A small misunderstanding between two friends Ivan and Gabriel ends up ruining both the families before they could realize what had happened. This story actually helped me to understand the great old man better !

Four decades later, I look at people around me and often get frustrated by the absolute lack of care for public property, water, electricity and such things and most importantly the time. Every walk of like, we overlook the small things that will finally make a big difference. But we seldom realize them, give importance to them or do something to change them.

Leaking Pipes: Every place I have visited has a leaking pipe or a pipe that has been left open by someone who just doesn't care. We just don't care, do we ? Thousands of liters of purified chlorinated water is lost every day. We see a lot of places in our country thirsting for water and we see absolute lack of remorse while wasting water.

Every drop of water we are wasting is taking us one step towards a universal drought some day ! Can't we see this and understand this ? Can't we take the small step to change this to avert a disaster ?

Electricity:  Most of us rarely forget to switch off lights, fans and air-conditioners in our own homes. But we seldom care when we are at office or in public places. When it is in the office or a public place, nobody bothers to switch off a light or a fan when not in use. It isn't our property and hence not our duty or not our bother is the attitude. But is it true ?

WE are footing the 'Bill' for all this wastage. The public lights are lit with the taxes we pay. Should we waste it ? I shot this 'day-light robbery' of tax-payer's money on an evening on my way back home. This street lamp was lit at 4:10 PM as we can see bright day light behind the lamp. This wasn't the single lamp. Every single lamp along the road was lit.

We can ill-afford this, but this is what is happening in every state, every place and every nook and corner of our country. When I pointed this out, the general reaction was, "This is nothing. It happens everywhere". My question is, "But why ? Why does this happen everywhere ? Why should it happen at all ?" This happens because, "We just don't care !"

Day Light Robbery of Electricity !

Bad Roads: How a small hole unfilled in time becomes a POTHOLE is known to all of us. Yet our administration has mostly remained completely oblivious and that is how we have so many potholes littering our roads soon after every monsoon. "A Stitch in times saves nine". We have learned. But we some how prefer to wait till 9 and even 99 are necessitated.

POTHOLE in the making...

POTHOLES Family !

If we the people begin to question government, the rulers will have to answer and behave. Else we have the power to change them in the next elections and teach them a lesson. It is another matter that many of us don't even bother.

But before we exercise our powers, let us ask ourselves, "Are we doing our duties as citizens ? Are we doing the small things that matter ?"

Let us do the small things right. It is never too late to learn, reform and work for a better tomorrow !


Dr. Punned-it