People who have made a Difference... 1

Vande Mataram - A Salute to all the Mothers of the World...!

I have always wanted to express my feelings about how different people have made a difference in my life. Life has been so special and I have had so many wonderful people coming into my life; I may need an entire lifetime to write about all the people. So let me start now before I run out of time!

I have written about my Uncle, Father some friends and even Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan and Anil Kumble. But the most important, enduring and everlasting influence has been rightfully... My Mother! Mother will always remain the most important person in my life. There might be exceptions, but the rule is... Mother Rules!

Why is Mother so special? I am not talking about my Mother but any Mother and every Mother. Well, try carrying a constantly growing mass inside your tummy for 9 months. Think of all those kicks from inside. Think of those bouts of vomiting. And those spells of hunger at midnight. Also those excruciating backaches. Then the weight gain, the loss of shape and the swelling on the feet. And finally most importantly the love, affection and absolute devotion after the baby is born. I don't know how my mother went through all these, three times in seven years. But I have seen my wife go through all these when we had our daughter and I forever remain indebted to Womanhood and Motherhood! When I love, adore and pamper my daughter, I have but one regret; "I am Not her Mother".

Now, how special is my Mother? Well she is 'Our' Mother. I have two sisters; one two years older and another five years younger. We three have so many things in common; like our easy-going nature, our vulnerability to emotions, our ability to laugh and share laughter and then our "Parents". But the most striking aspect of all 3 is our absolute and complete love for our 'Mother'. She is the most important person in our life. I am writing this with total conviction and without even consulting my sisters, because I 'Know It'.

I never liked the idea of celebrating 'Mother's Day'. You can celebrate birthday, wedding anniversary and so many things. But how can you assign just one day in a year to the most important entity on earth? Beats me! I might disagree with some of what my mother says. I might fight with her on some issues. I have even advised her about how to deal with certain people and situations. There have been occasions when I have felt 'let down' by her and there have been occasions when I have felt "Oh my goodness, what a rotten thing have I done!". There are instances when I have hurt her and even seen her cry. But then I have gone back to her and we have lived perfectly fine.

My Mother was a confirmed beauty of her times and beyond her times. She has been compared to Waheeda Rahaman of 'The Guide'. She was also the favorite daughter of her head-strong father. She married into a huge joint family. Overcame partisan in-laws and often unfriendly house and has brought up three children to be fiercely self-respecting yet equally sensitive. She has retained enough charm through all these years and looks more like fifty something even though she is past sixty. She is an unbelievably good cook and picks up recipes by just one look at the dish. On the negative side, she perhaps does carry a few ghosts of the past on her back and that could be the reason for some of the bouts of depression and insecurity she shows sometimes. But overall she is a perfect package of a 'Mother' and you can't get any better than that!

It is almost like 'I have taken her for granted'. I can't tolerate her falling ill. I actually get upset when she complains of some illness. I admonish her for something or the other she did in the immediate past as the reason for her falling ill. After I am out of home and alone, I have thought about it. Why do I behave like this? Why do I blame her instead of soothing her? Then I found the answer. I simply can't imagine her falling ill. I just can't tolerate the thought that 'Mother is mortal'. I have never met God. But if 'God' were ever to exist, it has to be in the form of 'Mother'.

Some characters of my Mother are perhaps unique to all mothers. She loves to feed us, her children and grand-children. She will do anything, including learning a new recipe to make her kids happy. Though she doesn't like use of bad language and cursing, she will even curse those persons who'll talk ill of her children. I saw that when I was abused by a drunken man. I have seen her feel miserable and even brake down when I couldn't eat some of my favorite dishes due to severe acidity. No other force on earth can understand humanity better than Mother.

My 'Mother' is the most important person in my life. My Father is very dear to me and my Wife is one person without whom I don't even open my eyes most of the mornings. Two Angels were born just to make my life better; one before and one after me. They are called 'Sisters'. I love and adore my daughter. She is a mission for me. But 'Mother' remains the 'Edifice' on which the beautiful life of mine rests comfortable.

I want her to read this along with my sisters. I want her to know how important she is for all of us; the kids and the grand-kids. I know she understands all this and more! Because... After all She is "Mother".

In these days of controversy over the recital of our national song; I have no hesitation in chanting this to 'My Mother' and all the Mothers of the world...
Vande Mataram !

Bored? Read the Board !

Travel can be inspiring, enjoyable and also be a learning experience. Travel also can bore you to your bone marrow. I was never really a good traveler. During childhood, I had severe bouts of travel sickness. I had to be sedated with ‘Avomin’ tablets like a tiger in a zoo to prevent my bouts of retching and vomiting. Even though I loved to go around and see places and the people, the travel part used to scare all of us.

My daughter has inherited some of this problem. But luckily for her, she is comfortable in air-conditioned vehicles. I overcame this sickness once into teens. Today, I don’t have much of a problem as long as someone doesn’t puke in the surroundings!

I am not really good at driving. I have very little patience on the road and hence prefer not to drive on long distance journeys. But once I am not driving, I tend to fall asleep through most of the travels. My cousin Rajesh changed all that about a decade and a half ago. Whenever we traveled together, he would poke me at the slightest hint of my dozing off. He never used to sleep on travel and never allowed me to either.

That is how I started to stay awake during travel. And this opened a new and a very pleasant window in my life. I learnt to read Tamil during my travel to Coimbatore in 1995. While passing through busy roads of Tamilnadu, I started to configure Tamil letters and before I knew, I was able to read boards without much of a problem!

This habit of reading boards has stayed with me to date and has given me numerous opportunities to smile, chuckle and even guffaw! When I say ‘Boards’ they could be signboards, advertisement hoardings, banners, milestones or even menu cards in hotels. I have realized that if we keep our eyes open, every single journey can be fun; howsoever short or long it could be. You’ll never get ‘Bored’ if you keep reading ‘Board’ after another ‘Board’.

My first memory of such a board goes back to an age long before I made it a habit to read boards. It was somewhere in central Karnataka and was in vernacular. So I am afraid the essence will be lost in translation. But that was one real howler!

‘Indian Hare Cuting Saloon’ was an interesting board I remember from Karnataka. ‘All type of Alopathy Medisins sold here’ was another. “We deel with repare works of wach, cloaks, time-pice and atometic goods”. "Dublicat Kee for any lock" was a locksmith advertising! What will you buy from "Kalpana Reddymade Cloth Shope"? How about "Hole sale and Re tail Merchants"? The list can be endless.

I remember an old joke from one of Khushwant Singh's book. It was written at the back of a Petrol Tanker "Mera Bharat Mahan" and underneath there was ... HIGHLY INFLAMMABLE !

Does ‘Meels Reday’ board enthuse your taste buds? Kerala perhaps has given the maximum number of occasions to enjoy for this compulsive board-reader in me. Then there was this board outside a fruit-stall cum coffee shop: “Appil, Orenj, Gripe joose and Laim Soda”. They also sold ‘Milk-Sheik’!

One legend of a board went thus “PNP Memmorial Hospital”. When I pointed out this mistake, the authorities just brushed aside the issue saying any way it is pronounced as such in Kerala!
Kerala can turn Shah Rukh in to Ghan and Cricketer Gagan Khoda into Ghoda! It is the patented style of enhancing the ‘T’s and ‘M’s and converting the ‘K’ into ‘G’ and ‘P’ into ‘B’ and ‘T’ into ‘D’ that makes so many howlarious goof ups unique to Kerala. Hindi in Kerala will make for another story altogether and let me deal with that some other day.

Menu cards in many hotels not only tickle your taste buds, but also your funny bones! So you travel by Otto Riksha and keep your luggage in Clock room. Then you go to a ‘Hottel’ and taste some of the exotic items available in Kerala like Gopi Manjoori, Chilli Chikkan, Beaf Rost, Papper Dosa, Buttar Nan, Sweat Corne Soop, Hoat and Sore Soop, Vegittabil Cutlate and finally the most delicious Omblate!

Many small eateries in Kerala will be helpless if you want coffee. They’ll serve only ‘Kappy’. If there is a crying baby, you give a ‘nibble’ to soothe it. And if you have to relieve yourself, you’ve to go to ‘Toilate’.

If you keep your eyes and mind open, you’ll never have dearth of entertainment on the roads in India. So next time when you travel, try this. Perhaps we’ll have more to share. As and when I remember more or come across new ones; I will come back… Just remember that!

Parting shot: A board outside the 'Board Room' of an institution went thus... "Bored of Management"

The Numbers Game!

After a lull, I am back with something to blog. I was inactive because of a lot of factors. But for now, I am dealing with 'Numbers'.

When I was a small boy studying in primary school and then high school, I had a fetish for using words like ‘Dozen’, ‘Score’ and ‘Peg’ almost as a rule. Very few of my friends knew the exact meanings of these words. In those days of the Amitabh Bachchan dominance; I enjoyed every opportunity to call him the 'Numero Uno' of Indian Cinema. Two weeks was too weak an expression for me; I preferred the 'Fortnight'. Thus I used to ‘Score’ over my peers by using words that were not very familiar to others. In spite of my fetish for exotic words, this wasn't exactly Sesquipedalia.

Well, everyone knew a ‘Dozen’. Some of them who had heard about Bar and Booze knew vaguely about a measure of Alcohol being called a ‘Peg’. But a ‘Peg’ means a third of anything was not known to any of my friends. Not a single friend of mine knew ‘Score’ was not exactly the Cricket Score but actually ‘Twenty things together’. I also knew what was ‘Baker’s Dozen’ and why was it called so!

So I never dealt with numbers and milestones in ordinary terms. When I completed ten years on this planet, I was actually a ‘Decade’ old. I was never really twelve years old; I was a ‘Dozen’ years old. In one of my elocutions, I went on to say, “Maha Bharat war went on for One and a half Dozen days where a Handful of Pandavas fought with a Century strong Kauravas for two less than a Score days”. Looking back, all that sounds stupid today. Taking this stupidity a little further, I am 'Three and a Quarter Dozen' years old today.

I think ‘We, Indians’ have the greatest admiration for numbers, landmarks and milestones. We as a Country are so enamored by Cricket primarily because of runs; centuries, records and a hell of a lot of numbers conjured up by this game. So much so, I know many women who can’t differentiate between a cover drive and a back-hand cross-court shot; will rattle up statistics about the number of centuries Sachin Tendulkar has raked up in ODI matches and Test Matches. I have seen people who have never invested a single penny in the market gushing about ‘Sensex’ crossing the 16K or 17K mark!

I think it all started with the Great Aryabhata contributing the ultimate weapon to Mathematics, the Zero. We are obsessed by this one single entity. We ought not have been what we are today but for this singularly patentable entity! When it comes to Zero, the more the merrier for us. Sunil Gavaskar told this when he reached the milestone of Ten Thousand Test runs, “When I played my first test, I did not know I would last this far. I thought for myself that if I can score one thousand runs in tests, that would be magnificent”. The newspapers ran the headlines next day “Ten Times Magnificent”!

By the way, on September 3, me and my wife completed a Dozen years as man and wife. What inspired me to write all this? Well, I am reaching a landmark here. This in itself is not really a great affair. But for someone who still has a long way to go in communicative writing; this is an achievement. With this post, I have completed a 'Half-century' of blog-posts.

Intelligentleman

I have an extremely intelligent but unbelievably modest friend. He calls himself UMD on the Face-book and the Twitter. He is a Graphic Designer and works somewhere in the middle east. Those names always elude me. Riyadh, Rial, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Kuwait and so on... But that is not what I want to discuss here. It is about a man, who will never give you even the slightest of hints about his real wares.

We know he is a Graphic Designer and is damn good one at that. He writes poetry is what his wife told me. He also writes very intelligent posts on the Face-book wall. He also makes some very intelligent sounding sounds. He is again very proficient in creating art out of vegetables and drawing on his mobile. He is driven by the word "Expectation" and loves challenges.

He has a very talented wife who is an accomplished Kathakkali artist. They all have great taste for art-forms. I keep getting invites from them to attend programs. But unfortunately I am neither as smart as them and nor do I understand any of those 'Arts'.

But the best thing about UMD is his humility. I never knew anything about him till I realized what kind of a guy this one is on the Face-book. The more I follow him, the more I've started to admire him. Actually I have no hesitation to add here that I am a 'Fan'.

This is not a blog-post to gloss about a friend of mine. This is just to say... We have a lot of people who are very simple and down-to-earth but are in reality 'Great Souls'. His nickname is 'Unni' and whatever he does is Unique to him. Hence I call his innovations... 'Unnique'. Due to his intelligence and gentle nature; I also have coined a new identity for him: "Unnique Intelligentleman"

And he has two adorable kids. The younger one, a boy is too young to make an impression. But his elder; a just turned teen daughter is a hyper-intelligent girl who looks and promises to go places. I sincerely wish a wonderful life to this adorable family!

The New Indian 'Express'

Recently an eminent Doctor from a small town in Kerala wrote a letter to the Editor of the Indian Express and that really upset me. So what did he write? He was reacting to Serena Williams doing the bare it all act for some fashion magazine. He wrote, "Serena Williams has realized that even ugly girls look better without dress"

Now, if I am not wrong; this is both racist and sexist. Racist because he is obviously calling a black girl 'Ugly'. Sexist because he is commenting on a woman's looks in a definitely politically offensive language. If Serena or anyone dares to bare; it is purely a personal choice. She is not the first girl to do that and certainly will not be the last. Why should she be called 'Ugly'?

We all know beauty is skin deep. We also know how much of an issue we have made out of the racist attacks on Indians in Australia. What moral rights can we claim if we ourselves are racial like this? A little sensitivity and sophistication in commenting on other people's life should not hurt us Indians.

I wrote a letter of protest to Indian Express. That was never published. I think the Editor endorses the views 'Expressed' by the Doctor. But a shocker came five days later. Another 'Eminent Gentleman' wrote, "I support the views of Dr. TS. Serena looks like 'Bitter Chocolate' in the mentioned picture. Now I am convinced about what 'The New Indian Express' stands for!

The learned Doctor again came out with another gem last Saturday. He was commenting on the concerns of the Church about the currently debated 'Love Jihad'. He came out with these lines, "Let the Terrorists marry these Christian girls. They will suffer at the hands of these Cantankerous Christian Females". Isn't this preposterous? Such a generalization about Christian women? I am surprised not even a single whimper of protest is coming out. Well, on second thoughts; I think I know the reason. The Editor again endorses the views of the respected Doctor and perhaps finds it unnecessary to provide space for any dissent.

I don't think there is any respect for woman or womanhood here. I am canceling my subscription to this insensitive newspaper with immediate effect. I know that is not going to make much of a difference for this 'Esteemed and Fearless' Newspaper. But I find it very difficult to accept this kind of journalism.

Side Effect :-)

I have been keeping quite busy these days and hence not been able to blog much. But something funny happened this morning. It was so funny, I had to write it instantly. Certain things can't wait!

During my morning rounds, I went to see a 76 year old Gentleman who has been complaining of dizziness since past 3 days. He was in the ICCU with high blood pressure. I asked him, "How are you?". He smiled at me and said, "I am better. But I have this dizzy feeling due to Side Effect". I was taken aback by this. We recently had a lot of problems with some patients complaining of adverse effects; real or imaginary, supposed to be caused by medicines. So I asked, "Side effects... Due to what?".

He immediately quipped, "Oh it is just that I feel dizzy on turning to my right Side".

That indeed was some Side effect !

It's all about loving your Parents!

Recently I was surprised by a senior lady praising me for taking care of my elders well. She introduced me to another lady and said, "Look at this boy, he takes care of his parents and his in laws very well. They all stay close by now and he is really a wonderful Son and Son-in-law". The other lady quipped, "Really? it is so hard to find children who take care of aged parents today. God bless you son, your elders are lucky!"

Was I pleased? Did this increase my pride? Am I feeling responsible? No... To be honest, I am pained. I am totally at a loss to express my feelings. Why should this pain me? Very simple, I have not seen anyone appreciating aged parents for giving their successful son or daughter the kind of upbringing they received. I have never heard anyone say, "What wonderful parents you have got, they have given you a life and all that you have."

Why is Parenting taken for granted? All those sacrifices the parents made during their lifetime never get mentioned. A son or a daughter looking after aged parents is considered a great charity! What a life are we living? Call me old fashioned; but I believe in joint families. I just can't imagine a life without my parents as well as parents-in-law. At least for now, I can't even imagine that. Illnesses, forgetfulness, tensions and pains come along with age. Differences do crop up due to generational thinking. But does that mean we have to stay separately? Differences can arise between peers and spouses too. Nuclear families scare me. Faced with some problem, I have seen people wilt under pressure. Nothing can beat the presence of a senior citizen who has seen life.

The support of a big family when in trouble is very crucial. I have seen this umpteen times because I live my life in a hospital. Some Muslims, who live with huge joint families are the ones who respect, love and take care of their elders the best. There never is a dearth of people to stay with the patient and the demand for Home-nurses is unheard of. I have seen elderly ladies weeping silently in solitude in huge air-conditioned Deluxe rooms and I have seen a whole family crammed in a single bed pay-ward to take care of the aged mother!

My eleven year old daughter hates it when my Mother or Father have to go out; even for a few days. She goes to sleep only after a mandatory story session by my Father. She misses my mother even if it is for one day. Yes, age, ill-health, debility and impending death do create the much needed ability to look beyond. We all know no human being lives forever. But as long as they live; isn't it right to be with them?

What a society we live in, where the busy children have no time for their parents? I know a family where two sons found it difficult to provide fifty rupees per day towards the cost of medicines for their parents. But the same people had no problems in spending double the amount on dogs; yes, DOGS! Life will never forgive them for what they did with their parents.

I expect no appreciation, no words of praise or awards for looking after my elders. It is the least I can do for giving me a life and a wife! Though it was a bit overloaded with melodrama, I definitely related to the Amitabh Bachchan - Hema Malini movie 'Baaghbaan'. Such incidents of children ill-treating aged parents happen every day and everywhere. I only hope, we realize the ultimate truth. We too will be OLD some day and might need support of our children!