One of my favorite quotable quotes is, "Life is hard, compared to what ?" !There was a pretty good discussion on Facebook recently initiated by a friend. It started with the suicide of a man. People had many things to say about suicide and I too had my views.
This thread inspired me to think about what I actually thought deep down about suicide. And I remembered this "Immortal Song" by Kishore Kumar from the movie Armaan [1981].
The thread went like this...
February 8 at 10:29am ·
Manju Thomas Men who refuses to grow up and take responsibility or may be just plain depressed with no friends ?February 8 at 10:32am ·
Deepa Antony yeah.. and i wish i could help them who needed help and bring to book those who needed that!!! arrr!!!
February 8 at 10:38am · · 1 person...
Praveen Vet Let's not blame the suicide victim. The state which consists of all of us has a bigger role in their suicides. If it can be 'Men who refuses to grow up' it could also be 'state which refuses to grow up' or 'women who refuses to grow up'
February 8 at 10:42am · · 1 person...
Deepa Antony the person to blame here is only the person who commits a crime. a suicide victim is not a criminal for doing so. wish there were ways to help them in time...
February 8 at 10:43am · · 3 people...
Babu Jacob wow cuz!..appreciate that..from a happy-go-lucky girl, a sudden twist to harsh realities..way to go!..:))
February 8 at 11:17am · · 1 person...
Babu Jacoband why there are so many unhappy people around?..everyone is not as lucky as we are who can be at fb writing funny things..realities!!..when even onion prices soar, when plans go wrong making one bankrupt, for some people day to day life b...ecomes a wall, not our fb wall, but a wall where these people stumble and fall and never get up..
count our blessings..
February 8 at 11:37am · · 3 people...
Govind RajI would like to share a story here. Some day I would love to blog about it.
In 1995, I met a remarkable lady one Ms. Vijaya. She was about 48 years old. She was suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis. The treatment modalities had not evolved in... those days. We used to give her symptomatic medicines and whatever best was available in those days.
Her illness had progressed so much in those days, she could hardly move her finger tip. All her small joints had fused. Later parts of her life she could not even get up.
But even during extreme distress during her last days she had one character and that summed up for me the essence of life...
February 8 at 11:45am ·
Govind RajEvery single morning during our rounds, I used to ask her, "So how are you?" It was a stupid question, but I had to ask her. And every day she used to reply, "I am feeling slightly better" with one of the most unforgettable smiles ever.
The ...whole thing is in the mind !
Pain, suffering, problems and worries are but part of a life. Anyone not facing problems isn't living. Agreed we haven't witnessed extreme suffering, sorrow or torture. But we have seen people who have outlived all these and more with conviction !
I would not sympathize with anyone committing suicide. There is no difference in murder and suicide. In both cases, you are ending a life. A LIFE... that we did not create ourselves. We have no right to kill anyone... Suicide is Murder in another name !
February 8 at 11:54am · · 3 people...
Deepa Antony *Raj: As much as i agree that finally it is all in the mind, I beg to disagree with your view that suicide is a crime. I believe that a person who commits suicide is a *sick* person. a person who's not normal. whose thinking is compromised in some way and which could be a consequence of things beyond his/her 'own' doing. I believe such people need help. But the sad fact is it is always too late.
February 8 at 12:01pm · · 3 people...
Govind Raj A person who commits murder too is *SICK* ! It is problems of the mind that lead to all acts of violence !
February 8 at 12:05pm · · 1 person...
Deepa Antony *for moderation purposes, i think i'll stop with : 'to each his own'
February 8 at 12:14pm ·
Neela Shyam most of the cases i feel it is a momentary impulse...by the time they realise it its too late....sad but true....
February 8 at 12:42pm · · 3 people...
Govind Raj Raj: you mean to say she never complained?
D' Yes... Never even saw her without a smile :-)
February 8 at 1:40pm · · 2 people...
Shery Ph well....who knows wat was going on in da mind of ppl who committed suicide....we can debate o'er it....well....
February 8 at 5:24pm ·
Neela Shyamyup...a few days back...a 36year old man (who happened to be a joint director of a very reputed firm) staying close by committed suicide as he found out about his wife's extramarital affair....sad that such a successful man couldnt take the... trauma....the so called wife is no where to be seen..the children are in a state of shock and are being looked after by his brother...sometimes i wunder if he could have reconsidered his decision thinking of his poor little children...the kids are now abroad ...but how can they ever get over the trauma...
February 8 at 5:34pm ·
Praveen Vet@Govind Raj: liked your story. I agree that suicide is murder and thus somebody should be strongly punished for it. The question is who is committing this murder? If a person is tortured by third degree methods and given a cyanide pill, h...e would most probably consume pill to avoid an even more painful and slower death that is for sure. Here the state should be punished because it is the murderer. For many victims of suicide, life is an invisible prison with invisible torturers. I propose a mechanism to punish the state. For every suicide (except that permitted by state and accidents), the state (people alive) should spend 12man-years (4380 man-days) in prison before they reach 70 years of age. Thus in a 70 year life of a man, there would have been approximately 3.8 million suicides (at 50,000 suicides per year in India) amounting to 15 billion man-days in prison. Thus a person should go to prison for 15 days before he is 70 (15billion/1billion Indians). I'm ready for 15 days.
February 8 at 5:36pm · · 1 person...
Umesh Babu Interesting list of causes of suicide here... weak, immature men; criminal act; not coping with unhappiness; state of mind and even the State (!)...GOK
February 8 at 6:11pm · · 1 person...
Deepa Antony @Prav: oh boy! all that math has got my head reeling!! :)))
@Umesh: GOK.. i like that :))
February 8 at 11:48pm ·
It is true that suicide might often be forced or almost homicide in absentia. But somehow, I am not convinced about physical or mental torture, penury, poverty, disappointment and loveless life being directly responsible.
We do see so many people on the roads, begging for survival and they do thrive. If poverty or penury are strong enough reasons to commit suicide, there would be no beggars and street urchins. If loss of love is a good reason to commit suicide, half the world would have to die for the other half and the other half for the already departed.
Suicide finally is murder and nothing but Murder. We aren't born according to our wish. Without going into the Divine, we still did not create our own life and we have no right to cut short something we didn't create. It is ultimately 'Violence'. Civilized society has no role for violence, against others as well as against self !
Extreme cases do exist and I can't wish that away or deny that. Terminal illness, extreme pains, loss of children and so many really unfortunate issues. But all these cases don't lead to suicide. Most of the cases of suicides are due to transient loss of reason, pent up rage or madness. It never is easy to understand what goes on at that moment. But it is a 'Sickness of the Mind' for sure.
A healthy society or state or country will have to look inwards to ameliorate the causes that could trigger suicides. Illnesses, misfortune, loss, death and devastation are but a part of life. I am not sure how I would react to extreme situations. But would love to retain my equanimity in such a scenario if so happens.
Even when someone extremely dear is no more, life has to go on and will go on. Death is the final frontier and nobody ever has outlived it. So why should anyone make its job easier ? Be prepared to Live, Love and Laugh, because Life still is beautiful. Very beautiful even with bad roads, Scams, Politicians and Sreesanth !
And for all those who think they have been handicapped by life... Watch This !!!
Dr. Pun-dit
